Slammed: A Memoir

16 years ago, shortly after testing HIV positive, still heavily using meth, I took a notebook on the subway and began free writing. The result was a memoir.

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

I'm thankful I'm still here and clean and able to tell my story.

Spare a thought for those whose addiction keeps them from being with those who love them.

#memoir #addiction #lgbtq #hiv

https://t.co/RxKHgL9DgV

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

“Chemotherapy isn’t going to cure this.”

“And without treatment?” my mother asked.

“If you have children who don’t live here, you should tell them to come home,” the doctor replied.

#Cancer #family #memoir
@jfinn6511 @prismnpen

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[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

Auditioning was like trying to date after an abusive relationship.

I was desperate.

Desperate for them to like me.

Desperate for them to tell me I wasn’t worthless.

Confidence is attractive. Desperation just ain’t cute.

@jfinn6511 @prismnpen

https://t.co/6e0EoTC00B

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

Gay Bodies, Queer Souls, and Right-Wing Homophobia by @jfinn6511 https://t.co/8DEgMminTx

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

I had never, ever, not in all my years, not even during my meth use, had thoughts of self-harm.

But there it was. The bell could not be unrung.

@prismnpen @jfinn6511
#Memoir #bullying #tourlife

https://t.co/lCTkVX0KUs

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

In a blink, Logan turned vicious. He growled, “Why are you being such a stupid bitch?”

Another glow stick snapped inside of me, poisonous chemicals mixing. My body was remembering things I really wanted to forget.

#amwriting

@prismnpen @jfinn6511

https://t.co/qEapk5BoHd

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

A shadow of my past had descended upon my present, like storm clouds after a hot sunny day, everything on the ground still brightly lit beneath a dark and threatening sky.

#addiction #recovery #Annie
@jfinn6511 @prismnpen

https://t.co/4qw3UH8dZA

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

Queer Joy, Fear, Protest, and Youth Writing Camp. Pride Week Two! by @jfinn6511 https://t.co/NRZippPSgH

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

This was never going to be high art.

This was business. Annie was the product, and we were hired to sell it.

Not to reimagine, reinvent, or contribute.

We were hired to do a job.

And we did that job.

#Annie #musicaltheater
@jfinn6511 @prismnpen

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[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

“It’s just…” I wiped tears from my face with a frustrated hand. “It’s just…I didn’t feel like I was doing anything. Like, nothing was going on.” “Exactly! It was just you, and it was thrilling."
#acting #gradschool #hamlet
@jfinn6511 @prismnpen

https://t.co/WRUCz5zsk7

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

As LGBTQ People Face Mob Mentality, Queer Writers Pen Truths by @jfinn6511 https://t.co/I9QJPiZ5d3

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

I could argue that it wasn’t my fault, that I didn’t have a chance to learn the choreography.

But, in the end, I had said yes to a job that I knew — I knew — I couldn’t perform.

#musicaltheatre #theatre #addiction #Recovery
@jfinn6511 @prismnpen

https://t.co/HWyTjHcUn2

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

"Don’t wait. If you wait till the last three days and discover there really is that spark between you two, you’re going to regret you didn’t have more time."

#lgbtq #gaymarrage #addiction #recovery #amwriting

@prismnpen @jfinn6511
https://t.co/PxQ2DKhlXW

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

LGBTQ Parenting, Republican ‘Decorum’ & Faux Marathon Outrage by @jfinn6511 https://t.co/0p0otqlDUm

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

He witnessed my first period of meth use, how I wasn’t functioning — or eating.

He tried to warn me.

That I couldn’t handle it.

Had I listened that day.

Had I just…listened.

#lgbtq #addiction #meth #recovery

@prismnpen @jfinn6511

https://t.co/8JeBl4EjzO

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

I woke up on January 2nd, 2006: day one without meth.

As of this writing, I’ve been clean for over 17 years.

#memoir #LGBTQ #addiction #meth #gaywriter #gayauthor #amwriting

@prismnpen @jfinn6511
https://t.co/V0aflY0qjQ

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

Richard had flown out to see closing night.

He brought meth and syringes with him.

When the show was over, I was going to slam for the first time in seven months.

It wasn’t a question; the choice had been made.

@prismnpen @jfinn6511 #meth #LGBTQ

https://t.co/iXbu7zuqXj

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

He reached into his pocket, I thought for a cigarette.

When his hand came out of his pocket, it was holding a baggie of meth and two syringes.

Slammed: a Memoir Chapter 11 Part 4

#LGBTQ #addiction #meth #amwriting #gaywriter

@prismnpen @jfinn6511

https://t.co/rqdhtDjKTg

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

Chicago Baker’s Dream Shattered as Drag Act Sets Neighbors Against Her by @jfinn6511 https://t.co/eBxMXAsBPC

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

LGBTQ Writers Demand Dignity and Equality, from the U.S. to Ghana by @jfinn6511 https://t.co/YKEBYwyGgf

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

@DinoManzella @prismnpen @jfinn6511 I had the chance to play Judas a fee years later and I very much agree! Tho then ya get to come back and kill it with the title song, that was always a blast.

[Slammed: A Memoir @a_slammed]

(During a performance of Jesus Christ Superstar)

The noose.

It wasn’t fake.

It was a working slipknot noose!

Read Chapter 11 Part 3 of Slammed: a memoir

@prismnpen @jfinn6511

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