“I don’t understand why women don’t just report it if it really happened.”
When I was 19, I reported mine. I had bruises. Hospital photos. Text messages of him apologizing the next morning. My friends drove me to the station because I could barely stop shaking. I thought evidence would make it simple. I thought truth would be enough.
Months later, I was the one on trial. His lawyer printed my Instagram photos and held them up in court. Asked why I wore crop tops. Asked why I drank that night. Asked why I didn’t scream louder. He replayed my police interview and pointed out every time I hesitated, every time I cried, every time my timeline wasn’t perfectly linear. “If it was traumatic,” he said, “why can’t she remember clearly?”
Sitting there while strangers debated my pain like it was a group project felt like being stripped again. My messages were projected on a screen. My body was described in detail. My character was picked apart like that was the real crime.
He walked out on bail. I walked out with panic attacks.
That’s why some women don’t report. Because even with bruises. Even with screenshots. Even when you do everything “right.” You still have to survive the assault twice, once in private, and once in public, just to maybe be believed.
unpopular opinion: losing a pet can hurt just as much as losing a person. they loved you without conditions, stayed when everyone else left, and made your worst days survivable. that kind of loss doesn’t disappear just because they had four legs
Nobody talks about how humbling it is to return. Again. Same prayer. Same apology. Same grace. But God never says, “Didn’t we already do this?” He receives you every time like it’s the first. Grace isn’t fragile. It was built with your weakness in mind.
I think my biggest takeaway from this year is that God listens. He pays attention. He may not give you an answer in 6 hours or 6 months, but when he does, he answers all the parts. He may be quiet sometimes but he’s only bidding His time. He’s never ignoring you.