Ashley Harrington

I’m just goofing, new boot goofing.

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

I’m a THOT leader.

Thank you and goodnight.

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

If we aren’t doing this, your friendship security clearance status is civilian level.

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

Stop, I’m grinding! https://t.co/hptNgIAC9c

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

Tony Soprano voice: ooooooohhhh!

[WCVB-TV Boston @WCVB]

Woman suing Eataly after slipping on piece of prosciutto at popular Boston food hall https://t.co/4TzFBwOJWP

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

This is an accident I would have had at 16. Not proud of it, but it’s a fact.

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

GUYS. Amazing real-life version of that scene in Big Fish. Swooning to death. I expect the same in 2064. https://t.co/ydimp9AxMk

[trash jones @jzux]

oceans: hot tub

aliens: real

economy: disintegrating

me: hey just circling back on my last email

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

As a woman who just realized her son’s backpack has been too heavy for a year because a pocket was STUFFED with rocks, this slaps! https://t.co/kSjlNdjqkk

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

10/10 https://t.co/siUxz1vakr

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

6 YO grilled me about whether there were women who wanted to marry my husband, but I fought them off, so I could marry him. Notably, he has no such questions about whether my husband had to fight off the competition. Honestly….? Fair.

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

I’ve decided to rewatch either Dawson’s Creek or The OC because I feel like being embarrassed by things I used to like.

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

Shame recognize shame.

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

Saw a woman reading a PAPER book IN the neighborhood pool, while wading around (NOT parked against the wall), getting INFURIATED if kids splashed anywhere near her.

Go ahead and kill us all, aliens!

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

8 YO just described heelies as “those old school shoes with wheels.”

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

The producers of Hoarders should just follow people out of these parking lots.

[Boston 25 News @boston25]

A going-out-of-business sale has officially commenced at all remaining Christmas Tree Shops store locations, two months after the struggling home-goods retailer filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. https://t.co/fQ2DLE0fS8

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

If my husband worked for Gillette, I’d say “the best a man can get?” with HEAVY question emphasis as a fun bit every single time he mentioned anything resembling an accomplishment.

Then, he’d kill me for being annoying, but it’d be OK because my ghost would also do the bit.

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

“If you got it, flaunt it.” — what I imagine the woman who I just saw wearing a patriotic MILF shirt said as she selected her outfit today

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

A cool thing about my brain is that it remembers exactly which cabinet I glanced at toothpicks in 2 days ago — YET — remembers nothing of my childhood.

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

Try not to like this. TRY. https://t.co/UKnyM63y5R

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

@BeataGlover Took me a minute, but I got there

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

We’ve solved the conversation STARTER problem. Let’s get cracking on conversation STOPPERS.

[Ashley Harrington @aaharrington]

Horror movie idea: I tell my husband I’m “going for a small walk” at the airport and I’ve taken my wallet with me, which means I am about to go spend $47 on snacks