Ali

I'm finna announce something non binary soon y'all.

[Ali @aalijones]

#Cicadas

[Ali @aalijones]

Just found out my extremely high IQ makes me super anxious. WTF 😣

[Ali @aalijones]

Celine Dion is the greatest female vocalist in the history of time. Proof that I'm right? Read the first sentence again ♥️

[Ali @aalijones]

I'm genuinely crying in a town hall work meeting

[Dolly Parton @DollyParton]

A message from the family of Dolly Parton.

[Ali @aalijones]

I just realized we're all going through mad horseshit and it's not just me. Things they don't teach you in high school

[USA Reject @sadreturns]

why does this activate the Home Alone sector in my brain

[ems 🍂 @atotalposer]

at the library. why is every new book called “a crown of knives and glass” or “the candlestick maker’s daughter” or “the last rose blooms at dusk” or “the fractured fragments of our souls”

[Ali @aalijones]

@chargerAscen You can't leave me, we're joined at the abdomen and share at least three organs

[Ali @aalijones]

@chargerAscen I like to listen to cicadas on the front porch rocking chair too damn much 🤣 no time to put down a banger

[Ali @aalijones]

I'm learning Televangelism on piano even if my fingers start to curl into blackened arthritis balls

[Ali @aalijones]

Today, I purchased a bicycle.

Not to exercise.

Not to race.

Not even to flex my Y2K childhood.

I bought it have fun again.

Because it's not about showing off. It's about putting your foot on that pedal and just going forward.

[Ali @aalijones]

Just got to the hospital. They're about to give me the Troye Sivan Got Me Started music video in an IV

[Ali @aalijones]

Genuinely nothing like the feeling of back to school season but I ain't part of it

[Ali @aalijones]

I WISH I DISCOVERED THIS AT THE START OF SUMMER

[Ali @aalijones]

I'm gonna start mewing in a socialist way

[Ali @aalijones]

Until they replace the HFCS with cane sugar across the board, they can burn

[Andreas Storm @avstorm]

Coca-Cola unveils a new global brand identity

[Ali @aalijones]

The Jackass movies are endearing

[Ali @aalijones]

I have been crying non stop buckets for 24 hours over his American crow

[Dudes Posting Their W’s @DudespostingWs]

Bro makes bird calls so accurate it barely sounds human. Actually insane

[Ali @aalijones]

We were all on that Cobalt 5 Gum officer