Abbey Williams

Basically a Beyoncé fan account where I occasionally complain about people on public transportation/ yell at companies (pls don’t tell my students I’m on here)

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

wearing a breezy top and sunglasses this drizzly January 1; it’s giving optimism with a dash of global warming

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

If you’re stoned at the nail salon and don’t listen to @lorde’s “stoned at the nail salon” were you actually stoned at the nail salon?

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

The guy at the @tacobell drive thru just told me he loves me & ya know I needed that on this dark November evening

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

Not the wawa checkout guy tryna talk me up over my 12 pack of white claw at 3pm on a Tuesday.

Sir, clearly I am unwell.

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

Hey @Apple how do I make my phone stop recommending I text someone I’m no longer speaking to?

Also hey @god why is this still a thing happening to me at age 30?

Lmk

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

If you have an image of a stethoscope but in the shape of a heart on your car, I think they should take your medical license for bad taste. Maybe your drivers license too while we’re at it.

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

watching a teenage couple fight in the Target parking lot and, man, this is living

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

All the rainbow in my classroom is not just cute decor to brighten the room but secret indoctrination, there I said it

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

Officially scheduling all first dates back to back moving forward to get the most bang for the buck on the outfit, makeup, & hair LADIES YOU’RE WELCOME

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

Every time someone plays the bastard Luke Combs version of “Fast Car” I projectile vomit 🤮

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

A girl I went to college with just used a @taylorswift13 quote to describe her toddler so yeah I’m that old

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

I’ve realized the transition from your 20s to your 30s is asking “what are we drinking” (serious) to “oh, do you drink?” (casual)

[Taylor Swift @taylorswift13]

get in the car it’s august

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

Following up: I feel less sad about how I’m aging after watching the new Jersey Shore

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

My favorite part of turning 30 has been pulling a muscle in my leg simply by trying to plug in my laptop charger

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

just told my roomba it was doing a great job. happy birthday America!

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

Just walked out the house & instead of the usual “love you, bye” I said “remember Champion, men are stupid and we don’t respect them” so yeah that’s how dating is going

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

just thought about the fact that my cat basically does a pull-up everyday to jump in bed with me

….man, that’s love

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

@kaylamorgan_1 If by adorable you mean grating my brain into Swiss cheese, you’d be correct

[Abbey Williams @ab_bey_once]

My mother just in all sincerity offered me a glass of milk at 4pm, so…

that’s a good baseline on where my mental health issues come from, in case you were wondering …