Chilling Deck

[Enyinnaya @enyinna_]

You earn ₦200k. Three women you have your eye on earn around ₦150k each. Before you find your “one”, you have to secure enough meet-ups with them to even figure out whether there’s anything there.

Let’s say none of them requires anything extravagant because they’re women who can accommodate “easy dates”. You still spend money. You pay for the easy dates. You pay for the uneasy ones. You pay for the bad dates. You pay for the good dates. You still pay.

You expend money and time. Both are valuable in this context, and both are resources that can cost you something substantial in the long term.

The women don’t have to do that. They just chill.

And in the context of Nigeria, you always have to keep at the back of your mind that if she “upgrades” socioeconomically, however minimally, you may suddenly no longer be her type.

You’re chilling together at the same workplace, she gets a scholarship? No longer her type.

You’re cool with each other in the neighbourhood, she gets a better flat? No longer her type.

You both use the same bus or transit system, she gets a new car? No longer her type.

Relationships are much easier when there is some social infrastructure that enables them. But many people in urban Nigeria live scattered lives. They have no real community. And many of those who do have to exchange their individuality for compliance and consensus. (See those youth Pentecostal churches that wouldn’t just let you be).

We don’t have enough low-pressure environments where people can simply meet and interact. So even if the relationship itself is not particularly high-maintenance, the cost of finding and establishing one in the first place can be high, and the risk can be even higher.

Not doing all that is, quite literally, a no-brainer. It doesn’t even take much to opt out. You really just be chill and women would call you hard guy or nonchalant for literally living in your own universe. Both men and women could even call you irresponsible for it.

It doesn’t take much to realise why some men might approach relationships as a matter of convenience or as an afterthought, sometimes even driven by horniness, rather than something they actively look forward to.

PS: I don’t support or oppose many of these things I write on gender dynamics. I just say what I’m seeing.

[Sir Dickson @Wizarab10]

The problem starts with their mentality towards relationship. You spend so much on women who don't do anything for you, and expect them to be loyal to you BECAUSE of money.

But it doesn't work that way. Many of these women don't even like the men they are dating, they are just there for the money. They say it themselves.

There are faithful women. These women are not faithful to you because of anything you do. They can't just share their body with a random person. Their faithfulness is about their own value system, not even about you.

Sex for them is a big deal and they will only have it with someone they are committed to. They don't even have casual sex when they are single because they can't give their body to someone they are not committed to. They also have respect for their relationship and the person they are dating, so their boundaries are tight and they leave no room for a third party. It gets stronger if she sees sex as spiritual and soul tie.

Interestingly, these loyal ones that never cheat are true lovers that give all of themselves to the relationship - including their finances. They are there to love and be loved, not there to take like thief.

I don't blame the people doubting you. They just don't have the experience. As a society, we need to do better because the rate of unfaithfulness is crazy. Even if you've erred in the past, you can do better. Your partner deserves all of you to themselves.

Women will agree with you in the comments but don't mistake that for them being faithful. You have to find that woman out there by yourself through righteous and diligent vetting.

[Enyinnaya @enyinna_]

I’d like to bring a few things to your realisation. But it feels like you know them and just happen to be in the mood to advise. Look at the average young man: his time, income, and resources, and picture what he’d loose if he tries to move to a few women in a bid to find the one

[Chilling Deck @abayominnit]

@lchngwi1993771 Sex is sweet guys.

[LyuLog @lchngwi1993771]

性爱小技巧。
她快到的时候，乳头会硬。这时候嘴含住一边，舌尖慢慢转，手不要掐。下面深度不变。乳头一被掐，她注意力会断，刚才那波就没了。含着等她腿抖完再松嘴。

[AC @a_chiagoziem]

Pls lock in, read everyday, publish on LinkedIn, cold emails without shame and stop crying over spilled milk that you didn’t graduate with a first class

[Sir J (J9) @SirJarus]

I have also not seen any unemployed ICAN holder.

Except those still in school, serving, going through graduate trainee recruitments, or in the middle of switching jobs.

[Georgewove 🕊️ @Georgewove01]

Just imagine a pilot posting don’t book flight ooh, Na Gen z full air, will u enter the plane, if u see the same pilot on the plane ✈️?

[EasyDesigner @iamkadirii]

You cannot have ICAN and be unemployed bro, I have not seen.

Unless you don't know your onions.

[Eziokwu @Iameziokwu]

Financial literacy goes both ways. You offered him an 80% annual return with zero collateral. If your plan fails, he loses his land money and has no way to get it back from an individual. He didn't ignore you because he lacks education, he ignored you because he knows the difference between a safe savings goal and a high-risk gamble

[Sir J (J9) @SirJarus]

Congrats

Never give up

[Chetuya Chinagolum @Chetuyachinago]

Our fundamental problem is capitalism, a system where local oligarchs loot our resources and hoard the means of production on behalf of the global capitalist network.

Religion is not our problem per se. Iran is literally a theocracy, yet they are among the most technologically sophisticated countries in the world, currently outmatching the United States in open-theater conflict in the Persian Gulf.

Tribalism is also mostly artificial. It was weaponized by colonial governors to keep the country divided while they extracted the wealth beneath our feet. The colonizers may have left, but our compromised political class has simply taken the whip from them. They continue to use this tribalism to keep us divided while signing away our minerals and oil to Western conglomerates, pocketing the remaining wealth to buy foreign real estate and luxury cars.

Illiteracy is not our primary problem either. The people occupying the highest offices in Nigeria today are highly educated, holding degrees from some of the finest universities in the world. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala's education, expertise, and experience did not stop her from aligning with global capital, even against the material interests and well-being of her African brothers and sisters. In fact, even if you somehow magically educated everyone in Nigeria, nothing would fundamentally change because education is a qualitative issue. It is the specific type of knowledge passed down to the individual that determines how they interpret the world around them.

If this education mostly consists of memorizing definitions, advantages, and disadvantages, where mathematics is dumbed down and technical knowledge is actively avoided, then this population will only be suitable to work as clerks and typists after leaving high school. The situation at the university level is no different. Even with all the theoretical frameworks we are taught to construct and the dense textbooks we are commanded to memorize, we are still unable to stop our parents from farming with hoes and cutlasses, and almost 50% of our farm produce still spoils due to impassable roads.

Of course, there are still a few fine schools in the country that focus on these technical aspects, but they are reserved exclusively for the rich. The students from these schools are too insignificant in number to command any real structural change in a nation the size of Nigeria, so they eventually migrate to Europe to seek greener pastures.

Beyond the lack of technical education, we are suffering from a severe colonial hangover. Plenty of us here still consider colonialism as a noble and necessary part of our journey toward civilization, rather than the systematic theft and plunder of our resources. It is impossible to expect any meaningful change when the psychology of the youth is already programmed to worship their historical oppressors and view their own people as inferior.

This is why we must understand that religious and ethnic jingoism are merely the tools put in place to sustain this predatory capitalist system. They are the symptoms, not the direct cause of our misery.

[Omojo Rebecca @Oma_0jo]

Plot twist; you need both.

[Chilling Deck @abayominnit]

@SirJarus Law is saturated already. If your head can handle medicine, do am abeg.

[Chilling Deck @abayominnit]

@lovely_mahmud @SirJarus Exactly 💯
Law is saturated already. If your head can handle medicine, do am abeg.

[Uthman Isa Tochukwu, Esq, ACIArb. @UthmanTochukwu]

Please, no body should tell you otherwise, a good 9-5 will arrange your life big time.

Forget social media o.

[BIG VIRG @drealbigvirg]

The night king was created because of fear of something that eventually happened.

There is only one reason the children of the forest who were thousands in number before the first men arrived westeros were reduced to just 6 in number and eventually went extinct.

This same reason is why the night king was created by the children of the forest and I have seen a lot of explanations but to understand why the Children of the Forest created the Night King, you have to go back to why and how the First Men came to Westeros in the first place.
1/3

[Chilling Deck @abayominnit]

@iamkadirii Can I still apply?

[GT Atas @GodstimeAtas]

A chronic masturbator in China and Europe will still achieve success faster than a celibate person in Nigeria.
Geography contributes more to your success than your sexual habits.

[Chilling Deck @abayominnit]

@Raman_Jago12 I once carried big sack of yam on my head shaking with serious pain on my neck for miles till I saw transport. Crazy time. I was once a farmer at under 20. Your own reach this?