Space Duchess

I own a powerful magic sword that I found at the dump

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

Week 6 of applying for jobs during a pandemic: morale is beginning to flag so I've started singing jaunty sea shanties to myself while refreshing LinkedIn

[Alisa the Writer 🐢 @the_alisa_renee]

My parents are 75 and 84. My son & I do frequent drive-by visits to make sure they have what they need. Today, I guess they needed to party.

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

Update: I DMed them and they've gotten back to me and taken my information so that someone can reach out. I'll let y'all know what happens!

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

I've been trying to apply for unemployment with @DOES_DC for three days, both online and on the phone, and I haven't been successful. The website crashes and the phone line either kicks me off or no one answers after hours on hold. Help?

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

@ITSNINARIVERA @DOES_DC Ugh you too? I'm so sorry! I hope you're doing okay 💕

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

Dealing with today by buying $150 worth of sundresses and deleting Twitter off my phone, so catch y’all later when I’m 1) cute in my new sundresses and 2) less emotionally raw

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

We could have had it so good. So, so good. Ugh.

[Elizabeth Warren @ewarren]

Our work continues, the fight goes on, and big dreams never die. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. https://t.co/28kyKe777L

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

I don’t want to be an American voter anymore!! I want to be a powerful forest wizard!! Is this SO MUCH TO ASK

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

Oh god I just picked up my headphones and realized my Spotify has been playing the same Doja Cat song on repeat for an hour- it was nice having an algorithm while it lasted

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

Escaping to South Carolina during CPAC is a bit like solving your house’s mold problem by setting it on fire, but here I am

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

My new deadlift PR is 225 as of yesterday, which is convenient given I’m pretty sure that’s how much Glenn Beck weighs and it is my dearest ambition to dunk him like a basketball

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

Just a warning to everyone at the DuPont farmers market- I’m about to roll up with my best nose ring in place, my compost under one arm, and my Elizabeth Warren sweater on, so please hide your girlfriends if you intend to keep them

[Brandy Jensen @BrandyLJensen]

Pete Buttigieg I vow to bully you online for the rest of your miserable fucking life

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

@quad_rangle Thank you so much for introducing me to the Dartmouth College Republicans Twitter, I’m having a fabulous time

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

Help wanted: 26 year old with horrifying sinus infection seeks candidate to punch her in the face until pressure is adequately relieved. Gatorade provided but bring your own snacks

[Chuck Tingle @ChuckTingle]

being sincere feels great and also makes you a punk rocker plus anyone can do it. give a try buds you will enjoy very much i promise

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

Mmmmnnnnnnnnnnhhhh reached for my gin and juice and got the jar of pickled jalapeños instead HURGH

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

@quad_rangle Probably not, but boundaries are overrated as is HIPPA

[Space Duchess @abbeysurdity]

I keep forgetting my therapist follows me on Instagram. Glad you’re enjoying the content Scott, thanks for the 😂 emoji under my last selfie