i love rereading my old diary bc i’ll write something like ‘how do i love someone without consuming them’ and the whole time it’s about a one week talking stage who’s name i don’t even remember
When I’m on my period, I feel like banging my head into concrete until the skin on my face falls off and I’m covered in blood then jumping around with the pieces of my mutilation in my hands like a wild animal until someone tranquilizes me but that’s not normal and I wont do that
I can't hang out tonight sorry I have to fold all my clothes. Yeah no it'll take like 3 hours. Tomorrow's no good either. Yeah I'm putting them in the cupboard. Let's just do it next week
when cigarette smokers tell me the reason they like smoking isn't the addictive chemical high but the tactile pleasure of the act, the tranquility of the outdoors, the strangers they meet etc it feels like pavlov's dog telling me he eats because he likes the sound of the bell