Abbie Swift

groove slam work it back

[Abbie Swift @AbbieLaine]

I think I am alive for the look of detachment in a frat boy’s eyes when he realizes I’m liberal

[Abbie Swift @AbbieLaine]

@torrencestuff ultimately he was left with no choice

[Torrence @torrencestuff]

if i were president, snapchat would replace email and talking phase would be the only legal relationship

[Emma Keith @emma_ckeith]

mine is the vinita, oklahoma mcdonald’s

[ACLU @ACLU]

In Oklahoma, voters can vote YES on SQ 805 to limit extreme sentencing.

Current state sentencing laws have forced a person to serve 33 years in prison for writing $400 worth of bad checks, and a mother was sentenced to 15 years for stealing basic necessities from a Walmart.

[pat regan @poregan]

When a book has a sticker on it that says “Now a major motion picture!” I’m like....u actually need to have some self respect

[Ken Klippenstein @kenklippenstein]

FBI found "no intelligence indicating Antifa involvement" in May 31 violence, per FBI report leaked to me.

That was the same day that Trump vowed to designate Antifa a terrorist organization.
https://t.co/Nh2RNTO1NK

[Drew Hutchinson @drewjourno]

I spoke with a mental health professional today about things students can do to cope with a major change in routine (school being online), as well as general anxiety about COVID-19. THREAD:

[charlie @chunkbardey]

oh something is “awesomesauce”?????sweetheart just call it what it is: soup

[Abbie Swift @AbbieLaine]

anyone else already thinking of their fun fact for the first day back? I love college

[Abbie Swift @AbbieLaine]

@torrencestuff and that’s beautiful for you, and Meatloaf, and whatever the less iconic dog’s name is, but ultimately I’m never coming over again. cops are on their way

[Abbie Swift @AbbieLaine]

if you are a person who keeps unflattering mirrors in their household you must stop inviting me over. also I’m calling the police

[Abbie Swift @AbbieLaine]

@KBrookeOwen truly we have no way of knowing if he is aware there’s a difference

[Abbie Swift @AbbieLaine]

“I wolf you” was the most violent, disturbing part of @YouNetflix I am shaking do not text

[Hanna Dickinson @hansdickie]

There are a lot of girls right now who think tonight will go well for them.

[Abbie Swift @AbbieLaine]

@KBrookeOwen yours was sadder I think but somehow the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read?

[Abbie Swift @AbbieLaine]

@KBrookeOwen it already is your catch phrase and I am furious

[Abbie Swift @AbbieLaine]

@KBrookeOwen I am positive that anyone who voted for you has never met me

[Abbie Swift @AbbieLaine]

@ErinRobbins13 @KBrookeOwen she sends me voice texts that are more long winded than these videos I am so grateful

[keaton bell @keatonkildebell]

amy sedaris literally just kicking her shoes off is funnier than anything any man has ever said or done https://t.co/goNZCBazW3