Emperor Zurg

Born a chilly cheesesteak ~ 1026 ❤️

[Emperor Zurg @abbscully]

I know people who peaked in middle school

[Emperor Zurg @abbscully]

Hey, Squidwards! Your internalized misogyny is showing!!

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

ㅤ

[Emperor Zurg @abbscully]

I can’t wait for Count Chocula cereal season

[kris @krisanford]

lmaoooo

[Emperor Zurg @abbscully]

You really have to humble the businessmen in Manhattan by walking straight into them on the sidewalk

[Emperor Zurg @abbscully]

Looking for an apartment in Staten Island is like “Have the privilege of living under my staircase for $2000 a month (NO UTILITIES INCLUDED OBVIOUSLY YOU GREEDY IDIOT) please pretend you are dead during all hours of the day so you don’t disturb me. Space comes with microwave!!!”

[Emperor Zurg @abbscully]

I’m good at being the family disappointment it’s expected so I should just go all out right

[Simpsons Quotes @Simpsons_tweets]

"Hello, Homer, I’m George Harrison.”

[Emperor Zurg @abbscully]

convinced @ChappellRoan is an alien that ran away from her space home to fulfill her dreams on earth (endearingly)

[Simpsons Quotes @QuotesSimpsons1]

900 dollary-doos?!

#Simpsons

[Emperor Zurg @abbscully]

When I told the doorman at my new job I didn’t have an ID badge yet because it’s my first day he said “it’s my first day too, besties!!” lmao what a great start

[Emperor Zurg @abbscully]

Me yesterday leaving the best job I ever had

[lettuce @the_lettuce_cat]

Partial eclipse as seen through a cheezit

[Emperor Zurg @abbscully]

Life is so fucking crazy like we just had an earthquake in NYC what the fuck is that about

[Emperor Zurg @abbscully]

@dunkindonuts I ain’t no snitch

[Emperor Zurg @abbscully]

@dunkindonuts was wondering why the butter wasn’t melting on the corn muffin I ordered, turns out it’s CREAM CHEESE WTF

[Brerp ➡️ @BranDrawsThings.bksy.social @Bran_the_Onion]

He was so real for this

(Rest in Peace, Toriyama, thank you for everything)