Abby Adler

I judge everyone and everything, then write about it 💁‍♀️ 🖊

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

I was today years old when I found out that people who are now of legal drinking age were not alive when Shrek was released

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

My dream job?
I don’t dream of labor.
I dream of being a hot girl running the Red Room at Kuli Alma.

[Nicki Minaj @NICKIMINAJ]

G’mar chatimah tovah

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

It was Rosh Hashanah, I blinked, and suddenly it’s New Year’s again. Time is fake.

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

2026 please be gentle. I'm sensitive and Jewish.

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

The real miracle of Chanukah is how many events can exist for one holiday

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

Me davening in Tel Aviv right now: May the rain wash away the dog pee scent of yesterday

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

Yosef was the original delulu king. He really dreamed his whole family would bow to him and Hashem said, ‘lol bet.’ Peak manifestation energy. Don’t let your dreams be dreams.

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

Chanukah is proof Hashem loves carbs

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

Latkes are love. Sufganiyot are life. This is how miracles taste.

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

Lavan sprinted over as soon as he clocked the gold jewelry Eliezer gave Rivka. One of the girls fr.

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

Cheshvan: deep breaths.
Kislev: deep-fried everything.

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

Rivka absolutely fell off that camel on purpose when she saw Yitzchak. OG pick-me energy like “teehee I fell, won’t somebody (Yitzchak) help me? 😇”

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

If he’s not in Miluim, he’s probably in Thailand.

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

My friends flew from Tel Aviv to Eilat for our girls’ weekend. I took the bus like a normal person. Their flight got delayed to my arrival. We are not the same.

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

Does anyone else love the Beit Kama gas station as much as I do? It should be a national landmark.

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

Walking around Tel Aviv in a hat and sunnies so no one recognizes me in this shtetl.

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

Simchat Torah in Tel Aviv felt like a marathon. Except instead of water, volunteers were handing out arak on every corner.

[Blake Flayton @blakeflayton]

Azealia banks is in Israel and Nicki Minaj is fasting for Yom Kippur like what timeline are we in

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

Nothing beats a Jew2 Holiday! And right now, you can save £50 per Jewish girl who boards an El Al flight, grabs an Aroma iced coffee upon landing, and immediately meets an Israeli soldier ‘in a secret unit.’ That’s £200 off for a squad of JAPS.

[Abby Adler @abby_adler]

F. Scott Fitzgerald actually wrote The Great Gatsby in Great Neck. From Prohibition parties to Persian Jewry, babe 💃