Abby Feldman

✨COMEDY POP STAR ✨ listen to: YOGA GURL, Call Me By My Hebrew Name, Soft to Get, Cellulite Summer, Life Is Amazing, Astrology Song now streaming

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

From now on I’ll only be answering to “funny well fed lady gaga”

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

Whatever you give comes back to you. Unless you’re sautéing spinach. You can put in a whole field of a spinach and you’ll still end up with a teaspoon of cooked spinach.

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

Constantly telling jokes to guys bc I love the sound of manslaughter

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

🤔

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

@hankgreen 🌸🌸🌸

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

@clarklarewjones 🌸🌸🌸

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

@ElyKreimendahl Being able to publicly feed someone with my body is like 39% of the reason I want to have kids

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

@NowhereComedy @CUBoulder @JadeCattaPreta @bengleib @davidcsmalley @thechrisarmy @ITG_Boulder ✨🌸🌎🌸✨

[Nowhere Comedy @NowhereComedy]

The clock is ticking, and the early bird ticket sales for @CUBoulder Comedy to Save the Climate show are ending soon! Featuring the comedic talents of @JadeCattaPreta, @bengleib, & @davidcsmalley, @AbbyFeldman, @thechrisarmy. Tix: https://t.co/rDsCXfO2Wb @ITG_Boulder

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

A lot of people don’t know this but crystals can actually prevent pregnancy if you stick enough of them up there

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

The Daily Show DID NOT ask me for a correspondent audition bc they 1) are antisemitic 2) are sexist or 3) have never heard of me

I’m thinking it’s the latter so here u go @TheDailyShow ✡️🚺💟

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

Jesus loves you but he’s disappointed

[What Will the Neighbors Say? @wwtnstheatre]

we are just a few days away from our first storytime at @thecelltheatre - but, looking ahead to may, we've got some seriously incredible artists on board @AbbyFeldman @EleriWard @Danie_Moore

thanks to @emilyowenspr as always!

https://t.co/o26QWZK78c

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

@DaveOnFXX @lildickytweets I went to Hebrew school with every single one of these dudes

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

For some reason it hasn’t gone live yet on @SpotifyUSA - @TuneCore can you please fix this cutie pie? The people need their average shlong song!!!

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

“4 to 5” is number 1 on @iTunes comedy charts right now! Thank you to everyone who is downloading 🙏 I know it’s a silly song but you’re helping normalize normal peen size & dismantle the patriarchy with every listen! 4️⃣📏5️⃣

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

Listen here: https://t.co/UlvOHfqd43

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

@OctopusCaveman

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

FINALLY a comedy song about d*cks!

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

https://t.co/UlvOHfqd43

[Abby Feldman @AbbyFeldman]

I dare you @LoveisBlindShow