Abby Pearson

'Imelda had soul'

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

My good friend and I have this sort of unwritten 'I jump, you jump right Jack?' rule when it comes to upsetting dog videos online, and I'm anxiously waiting for her to open the last video I sent her because I think this one is actually going to end our friendship

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

I've not stopped thinking about Julien Baker saying 'all I ever wanted to do in my life is be in a band, I feel like music is the thing which I used to find my family' in her acceptance speech, as Phoebe Bridgers and Lucy Dacus held her when they won a Grammy since it happened.

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

I love when people say 'if a 16 year old can join the army, they're old enough to vote' or alternatively, we should stop letting literal children enlist.

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

My friend's just told me about her Ma's new dog, whose last owner threw her out of a window, and I'm so mad I could tear my own face off.

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

Today I asked a man at work if he was okay cos I hadn't seen him for a while, and he told me he'd 'just got back from a month in Spain to this weather', wild I know, but I struggled to express any sympathy

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

Melissa Barrera for Evelyn Hugo in Seven Husbands, I said what I said.

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

I've got a friction burn on my elbow from my hotel bedsheets, which sounds fun, until I reveal I got it almost falling off the bed

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

On my break at work where I've just witnessed a 6 foot tall muscly man dressed as Belle bellow 'ere get me a Guinness eh' at an equally muscly Snow White, and I'll be honest, I don't remember that part of Beauty and the Beast

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

I 100% recommend gathering together a group of your colleagues and asking everyone what their most controversial opinion is.

[celia @_celia_bedelia_]

Your reminder that Joanne Rowling (aka Robert Galbraith, JK Rowling) decides to be a man or a woman or gender neutral whenever it’s convenient for her. 😘

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

@CDThornborrow @danfrancisss What a sad brag

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

Why does everyone fawn over Matty Healy like he's not the human equivalent of a crushed packet of wet fags you found on the floor of a night club toilet?

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

@danfrancisss @CDThornborrow Two is the amount of drinks it would take you to smoke wet toilet fags?

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

I accidentally had a ten minute nap on the sofa watching the football after work like someone's Granda

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

Just heard someone say 'Luis Rubiales' aloud so I can finally stop embarrassing myself

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

@DylanHinde1 Fuck off you silly cunt

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

I'm not being bullied FYI, we're just horrid people

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

Just incase you're wondering what my personality is, a co-worker just told me to kill myself and I barely flinched, but then twenty minutes later he called me a dumb bitch and I had to tell him that was too far.

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

Just incase you're wondering what my personality is, a co-worker just told me to kill myself and I barely flinched, but then twenty minutes later he called me a dumb bitch and I had to tell him that was too far.

[Abby Pearson @abbyjanepearson]

@danfrancisss I'm not a massive cunt like you, so I wouldn't get kidnapped