Allison Boerger

life's a party, rock your body

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

Finding out @ericchurch is closing CC16 has me like

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

Driving around looking for deer and Lucy asks if we can find aardvark??? Wtf.

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

Lucy just cried for five minutes after I laid her down for bed because I forgot to say “peace and blessings” before I walked out. No one prepared me for this part of parenting.

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

@TweeterlessJack @cutthetell YAYYYYYY JACKIE. Now you have no excuse not to take us to Taco Bell

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

@cutthetell Asparagus! Literally amazing. Drizzle olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic powder. 380 for 10-12 mins. Shake half way through 💥

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

@EasyDreezy Rose gold 💁🏽‍♀️

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

It’s 9:15 am and I’ve thought about pouring myself a glass of wine approximately 14 times already because children.

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

Cut up Dino nuggets and added them to my premixed bag salad for lunch. My cooking skills are thriving right now

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

How is quarantine going you ask??

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

@hobiwankanobi When you snapped this to us last night I literally looked at Mitch and said “it was probably that bitch Carol Baskins” 😂😂😂

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

Went to Aldi‘s to stock up on my cheap wine in case of a quarantine, and got cornered by an old man who wouldn’t stop talking about rabbit hunting and Bill Clinton. What a Monday.

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

@12taylorm I sweep the toy room, kitchen, and living room everyday (the main areas of the tornado toddler) 😂 but the rest of the house I’d say every two weeks.

[Jessica Michel @micheljessica_]

Wasn’t even scared until all the grocery stores started clearing out. I’m not afraid of COVID19 but what is scary, is the lack of common sense people have. I’m scared for people who actually need to go to the store & feed their fams but Susan and Karen stocked up for 30 years.

[maybe: clare @clur19]

Wash your hands like you’re 19 and trying to get the X that a bouncer wrote on your hand in Sharpie completely scrubbed off

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

Can someone tell me how my child went from sleeping 11-12 hrs a night to getting up 5+ times a night?! 😭😭😭

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

Drive-Thru speakers should have a “I’m driving around aimlessly because my kids are napping and I’m bored eating so please don’t wake them up” volume instead of talking at the highest volume possible.

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

The kids napping at the same time is one of the best things ever until they both wake up at the same time and it’s a screaming match because ones hungry and the other wants to sit on moms lap 😅

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

Being a Mom: giving kid #2 a bath bc she puked everywhere while kid #1 is screaming bloody murder in my ear, pulling on my shirt and trying to climb into the bath while my useless husband is standing there asking what he should put on his hands bc they are dry 😑😑😑

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

How unhealthy is it to drink a half gallon of coffee in one day? Asking for me. I need all the caffeine today.

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

Lucy started this new thing where she has to bring a stuffed animal to bed with her and it’s literally the cutest thing watching her snuggle it while she is sleeping 😍

[Allison Boerger @abensman12]

@paigebresnen @TweeterlessJack And me!!