Abigail Carpenter

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

That moment when you get into Twitter and see a tweet and comment but realize you haven’t been on Twitter since October so now you look like a weirdo when really you’ve just been living under a rock for a few months

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

I’m unapologetically blowing up my social media with this trip but whatevs. Worth it #sorrynotsorry #vacationallieverwanted

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

First plane ride.... let’s see how this goes #ibelieveicanfly

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

10-ish minutes into to #BlyManor and I’m already super intrigued. The writing of this show is superb

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

Are they taking volunteers to go to Mars anymore? After 2020, I think I’ll take my chances in a Mars’ colony

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

Growing up is doing everything you can to make your own decisions, then immediately regretting it because you have to make a decision... and then you die

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

Heyyo, recently I’ve come to some realizations and insights about growing up. I think many would agree

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

Growing up is being taught prudence and how to filter what you say until you hit just after your middle age years, then throwing that filter out the window.... loudly.... and then you die

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

@LaurenMank_4 Wtf people suck so bad. Like seriously, do they not have anything better to do?

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

Look, I get it. Fireworks are cool and all. But for the love of everything holy, please stop firing them off in June... on a Sunday.... at 11:25.... within city limits....

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

So like, y’all ever have that moment late at night when you start thinking of all the friendships you’ve had over the years and how you haven’t talked to most of them in FOREVER and you get a little bummed about it.... like all the way back to high school fiends, I miss ya homies

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

@ranson_megan Yo homie I feel ya. In the last year I got a big girl job, bought a car, moved twice, signed up for benefits, and filed my own taxes.... and I keep finding grey hairs to top it all off. We’re old!

[Maggie Howell LaForge @Mar__G_3]

How do I invest in this child

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

*know

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

If y’all see me wheezing, please no it’s like 99.99% chance I’m not sick. I’m just fat

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

So like, if coronavirus was a person, pretty sure it would be spongebob after he made that smelly soup

[Abigail Carpenter @abfab96_abigail]

Reminder: okay to panic about the coronavirus stuff because you have feelings to express, but please try to do so less...publicly. I’m not worried about the coronavirus, but y’all panicking around me is like a shot of cortisol to my already anxious brain. #anxiety #CalmYourTits