me: in 2018 i’m gonna stop agreeing to things i don’t want to do 😌🌱
random person: hey wanna come to my nieces hair stylists second cousins neighbors piano recital
me: [thinking of a way to say no] of course dude what time
“The ice caps are melting awaaaay”
trump: but baby it’s cold outside
“This year there were like 10 hurricaaaanes”
trump: but baby it’s cold outside
“Weather and climate are not the saaame”
trump: BUT BABY IT’S. COLD. OUT. SIIIIIIDDDEE https://t.co/LGbTpQcKZ1
My ideal sleeping position? Side sleeping, Left leg straight out right leg 90 degree angle hiked up. One arm under the pillow one arm over. Multiple blankets fan on high NyQuil coursing though my bloodstream. Obama is there.
SHOOTOUT VICTORY!
The #Pens defeat the Blue Jackets with goals from Sheary, Kessel, Malkin, and Guentzel. Oh, and two five-hole goals from the two-headed monster in the shootout.
July, 2018.
Jessie James gets off an airplane, still holding a football thrown to him 6 months ago in Week 17, just to make sure he caught it.
Suddenly, he drops the ball.
A ref walks in: “After review, he did not complete the process, therefore it is an incomplete pass.”