illy ୨୧

he/she || had to delete previous bio welp. info on strawpage!! || alt - @illyenditpls priv - @illyyyss

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

“we’re done, I’ll do what I need to do for you, but aside from that there’s nothing between us”, was what I was taught, it engraved itself deep into my mind, became my ideology, now the route my mind always chooses. I don’t wanna be like this

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

I feel like being told at a young age that you spew venom at everyone you love, and have no chance of ever being able to hold a real relationship, will really fuck you over, especially when it ends up being true 💔💔 fuck you for making me think it’s all I can do in life

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

I feel like being told at a young age that you spew venom at everyone you love, and have no chance of ever being able to hold a real relationship, will really fuck you over, especially when it ends up being true 💔💔 fuck you for making me think it’s all I can do in life

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

I hold a lot of shame and guilt for things I have done, and I’m going to die with it as there’s nothing I can do to ease it, not that I believe I deserve to, guilt is its own punishment for wrongful acts

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

and that’s the stupid part, it wasn’t even real, literal psychological torture 😭😭😭😭

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

the second one used to make me vomit, it made me physically ill for months, i felt so depressed, so scared, so disgusted

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

was convinced there was a demon living in my home for months once, used to have images of a girl being skinned alive flash through my head, always think there’s someone waiting to hurt me, I just don’t wanna do it anymore, it’s so shit, I hate it

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

was convinced there was a demon living in my home for months once, used to have images of a girl being skinned alive flash through my head, always think there’s someone waiting to hurt me, I just don’t wanna do it anymore, it’s so shit, I hate it

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

one minor experience and it just leads to months of psychological torture at a time, how’s it even fair

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

one minor experience and it just leads to months of psychological torture at a time, how’s it even fair

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

one day there will be no hope, it gets worse as time goes on, gets more intense every time, no one waits around for something imaginary that they can’t even see, no one except myself

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

and it doesn’t even fucking work, still gotta follow the imaginary rules still can’t enjoy anything, still can’t love anything, can’t have a day of peace, why live when you’re ruled by someone else even when you’re completely alone. get out of my head

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

needing medication to control my own thoughts😂😂😂😂😂how pathetic 😂😂😂😂I hate this and I hate my brain and I hate that I can’t fix it by myself 😂😂😂😂fuck😂😂😂😂this😂😂😂😂shit😂😂😂😂😂

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

needing medication to control my own thoughts😂😂😂😂😂how pathetic 😂😂😂😂I hate this and I hate my brain and I hate that I can’t fix it by myself 😂😂😂😂fuck😂😂😂😂this😂😂😂😂shit😂😂😂😂😂

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

I’m scared of becoming immune to the only medication that can save me even just a little, what if it stops working one day. There will be no hope then

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

@Feiyuzz_ luckily for you, I’m too lazy to make one, and I accept your apologies😿😿 can’t promise everyone else is though.. 👀

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

@Feiyuzz_ soooooo who’s making the thread?? 🤔

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

posting a bodycheck is so annoying, bc if you’re like ‘omg I’m so skinny and amazing’, everyone hates you for being confident or whatever, but if you say ‘ffs I’m so fat’ everyone also hates you??? stupid logic

[Feiyu｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡ @Feiyuzz_]

Watching my fav childhood mc serie w foomf #bonding

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

@Feiyuzz_ OR get a q-tip and stick it in there

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

@Feiyuzz_ and pull it out

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

@Feiyuzz_ then get tweezers

[illy ୨୧ @aborteddd_illy]

@Feiyuzz_ But like