Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores

Overheard in Albuquerque bookstores... 🙄😂🤔 I’m just an avid book lover that shops local and likes to eavesdrop.

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

Little girl, twirling around the the book shelves: “I just found my happy place.”

#alright #weseeyou #albuquerque #booklovers

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

Customer *smells book and hugs it to chest*
Cashier *notices*
Customer: “My heart just grew three sizes like the Grinch.”

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

Guy standing at the counter: “I’m one of your most long-standing and loyal customers. I only shop local - never big name or online. I love to support you guys. I’m a big part of your success.”
*leaves without making a purchase*
#bro #albuquerque #Supportlocal #buylocal

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

“Do you have a book by Don Quixote?”
“You mean, do we have Don Quixote?” “Yeah, I think the name of his book starts with a C or something. Cerveza?”
“I think you’re looking for Cervantes. We have his book, yes.”
#beeronthemind #onlyinburque #albuquerque #itstheotherwayaround

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

Clerk: “And this is where our memoirs are located.”
Customer in most nasally accent: “Uh. It’s memWAH not memWIRE.”
#itsleviOsanotleviosA #okayhermione #chillout #albuquerque

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

Employee to regular customer: “What if you didn’t come in one week?”
“You should worry.”
“Give us your number in case we need to check on you!”
“Give me a designated parking spot out front.”
#yougotadeal #isthatasteptoofar #albuquerque #makingdeals

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

“Card or cash?”
“Oh, cash. If I pay on debit my wife will know. She’s forbidden me to bring home more books. And, you know, we can hardly afford the rent.”
#priorities #getemstraight #albuquerque #whatsgood

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

“I have to go. My wife is 350 pounds and she’s waiting for me at home so I can help her get out of her chair. But I’ll be back!
#wow #rude #albuquerque #stayclassy

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

*scrawny fella tiptoes around the store looking high and low for something specific, wringing his hands nervously, finally goes to counter
*stage whisper: “Where are your /naughty/ books?”
#bro #calmyourself #albuquerque #nasty

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

“What do you think of this poem?
‘She walked across the room / wearing nothing but an apology.’”
“I think somebody needs to get a life.”
#harsh #localauthorsman #albuquerque #buylocal

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

“Do you want Def Leppard or Taylor Swift?”
“If you’re asking about listening preference, Def Leppard. If you’re talking about dinner company, Taylor Swift.”
“We’re talking about Pandora station. But good to know!”
#hotfortswift #youhateheroryouloveher #fairenough #albuquerque

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

“I’ve kept this collection of Reader’s Digest on the back of my toilet for 28 years!”
#um #gross #pleasestop #albuquerque #washyourhands

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

“What do you mean you don’t want my set of 1984 Encyclopedia Brittanica? It’s only missing 8 volumes! The internet doesn’t have everything you know!”
#areyousureaboutthat #googlethatshit #albuquerque #comeon

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

“I’m looking for a book. It’s about this big and it’s blue. Do you have it?”
“Who’s the author?
“I don’t know.”
“What’s the title?”
“I don’t know.”
#well #iwonder #albuquerque #getyourshittogether

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

“How dare you not put any female authors in the action adventure section?! You need more female representation.”
#howisthismyfault #talktotomclancy #albuquerque #wtf

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

“I thought the Jane Austen books should be in romance instead of literature. So I went ahead and moved them for you! Don’t they look nice?”
#imsorry #what #whodoyouthinkyouare #Albuquerque #whyareyoulikethis

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

In Russian accent: “Ugh, another store in town is charging 50¢ for books!”
Cashier: “Well, that’s not bad!
Customer: “Maybe, but don’t they know I have to pay my bills?”
#fiftycentsshort #gottapaythosebills #burquenos

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

“Cool, this book was off the 50¢ shelf!”
“Great, do you do a teacher’s discount?”
“On... 50¢?”
#cheap #gottapaythebills #burque

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

“Go to any library, they’re clearing the shelves of ALL the books the government doesn’t want regular people to see! How are we going to find the Philosopher’s Stone!?”
#alchemy #FullMetalAlchemist #fullmetalburqueno #burquenos #albuquerque

[Sh*t Burqueños Say in Bookstores @abqbookshit]

*guy with an eye patch walks in, proceeds to accost the cashier with a lecture about building a Tesla coil as a gift for her husband
*flips through book in his beefy hands, hastily apologizes for bloody q-tip that falls out on counter
#what #seriously #albuquerque