i’m sorry to me. who i was going to be. all along i was mesmerising a true being. sense of self. i was lost in a dream but i was stuck inside a nightmare i was too blind to see. do i like the nightmare? or do i accept it? questions.
nothing but me. alone. with my thoughts and self terrorising my own well-being. writing poems everyone will see past because i am who i am. did i lose? was i destined to fail all along? what is failure?
the truth isn’t what you seek. it’s unattainable. profound mental health.
objective happiness and self awareness. what i strive to be. was it them all along? am i finally facing me? these people suffer the same hand i am dealt with. why don’t they ever show me how to escape this nightmare i’m stuck in.
how can perfection in my own perception be achieved when i can’t ever accept what is blatantly in front of my own eyes. is it fear? irrational subconscious lack of self awareness? do i love me? if i don’t love me who am i really? who have i been speaking to all this time? unreal.
i keep on running and running but they’re all faster than i will ever be. i created them. they outpace me and still i wonder. why am i doing this to myself? who am i running from? these people are me. i am running from myself. been trying to accept myself and run simultaneously.
nothing is real to me. i keep seeing myself in everyone else. did i make these people up? who am i really? did i try to run from what i am? who are these people i share a find connection with? am i even real? is the life i’m leading in my control? what’s with all the ghosts?