swamp izzo

top floor gang

[swamp izzo @acefvevo]

ma CPA ko puhon, salig lang

[axcilla @axcilla]

The next recession wipes all these people out

[vince ❤️‍🔥 @droidhymns]

i will never understand filipinos who go full cashless mode like are you fucking insane

[Hayduke ⏹️ @GWHayduke97]

Using the internet in 2026, a vignette:

> go to website, enter username and password

"Please confirm your phone number so we can send it a verification code".

> enter phone number
> receive code
> enter code

"We've sent a code to your account's email address. Please enter that code to continue."

> go to email
> get code
> enter code

"Welcome to SomeWebsite! Our experience is better on the app. Would you like to download the app?"

> X out
> scroll down a ways to the thing you are looking for

"SomeWebsite is better on the app. Please download the app to continue."

> press X

The website scrolls you back to the top

> scroll down again

Same message. You realize that accessing this, and most other functionality, is gated behind the app for you even though the website itself has this functionality too.

> go to app store
> search SomeWebsite
> download app
> open app

"Welcome to SomeWebsite's app! To properly operate, this app needs permissions for your location, contacts, bodily fluids, and firstborn son. Please click below to go to settings and enable these permissions."

> click button, go to settings
> enable all sorts of permissions
> go back to app
> enter username and password

"We've sent a code to your account's phone number. Please enter that code to continue."

> get code
> enter code

"Thank you for logging in! Would you like to use passkeys instead? You can use Touch ID, facial recognition, or a retina scan."

> no, I'm not gonna do biometrics

"SomeWebsite would like to send you push notifications. Do you accept?"

> no

And now you can FINALLY do the thing you wanted to do.

[𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐒 @Antunes1]

“Israel confirms its first case of hantavirus”

[swamp izzo @acefvevo]

FUCK YEAH

[swamp izzo @acefvevo]

AHWHSHSG2HWGSYSGSGSGSHWGWGAGGAGSSHHSGSGS

[*Walter Bloomberg @DeItaone]

TRUMP: 'I'VE BEEN IN FAVOR OF INTEREST RATE RISES TO STOP INFLATION'

[Mo Khan @mokhanhim]

Jewish niggas be like “we don’t run the world” then humiliate billionaire rapper Kanye West by making him take antisemitism classes just to cancel his concert anyways

[swamp izzo @acefvevo]

ACAB MF, FREE HEV ABI https://t.co/glYi7jCXek

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

whoever invented coffee and a cigarette was cooking

[stepfanie tyler @stepfanie]

Have we considered taxing the poor

[trevor @trevorngl]

bae we cant both be on twitter

[🐝 Bee 🐝 @SavinTheBees]

HOLY SHIT

JUST SAW THE LEAKED DOOMSDAY TRAILER BEFORE IT GOT TAKEN DOWN

THE PART WHERE CAPTAIN AMERICA TAKES OUT THE SHIELD AND HAS THE STAR OF DAVID ON IT WAS NOT EXPECTED

[Translate Things @TranslateThings]

FUN FACT: If you study the History of Ancient Egypt at university, the only job prospect you have is teaching others the History of Ancient Egypt. It's the original pyramid scheme.

[Dexerto @Dexerto]

Streamer Sykkuno's response to cheating allegations has been dubbed over by 'Deku' actor Justin Briner

[pseudo wook @souporsonic_]

you look like you work from home (derogatory)

[𝑹 @ReaganGRM]

When you buy a book that teaches how to get away with fraud and it never arives.

[jade @totalIyjade]

why don’t movie theaters sell posters

[this might be hoss @rozzyrozzrozz]

im sorry but I Wonder objectively is a better song