Arianna Heitman

Born Klutzy. Proud Auntie. Cyclone.

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

Last night I couldn’t sleep because all I could think about is the fact on Friday the date will be 2/3/23.

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

I constantly watch TikTok’s of the food people eat at/from restaurants and amusement parks. I’ll I’m asking is you just put the total amount you spent at the end of the video, so my broke ass can remember why I’m just sitting here eating $0.50 ramen.

[Zach Kornfeld @korndiddy]

How is today still monday

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

First time actually paying to play in a football fantasy league and I got first place! 🤑

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

@colormescrubs And that’s why I am the way I am now! Ask if you don’t know so you can know the next time.

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

While sitting at the bar I just casually used the word juxtaposition in a sentence and everyone stopped and stared. Apparently these people don’t know I do have a brain. 🤓

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

Hungover on NYE and I just sent the following text:
I’m a professional. I’ll eat, shit, nap, and rally.

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

Been drinking since 10am.
My friend just called and asked me what the capital of New Jersey was and I responded Trenton immediately. He said thanks for being my lifeline and hung up.
The fact this is normal to me is weird.

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

Today I took my first family photo without my dad physically there. That one hit harder than I thought it would. 💔

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

My 8 year old niece looked at me yesterday and said, “Auntie, you seem really happy today and I like it.”
Little did she know I was having a terrible day until she showed up and surprised me. ❤️

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

@jimmyfallon #IUsedToThink a falafel was just a fancy waffle. 🙁

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

When your friend is so invested in @serenawilliams
Tears of happiness and a full lifetime of love! 🥰
#USOpen2022

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

Tonight I picked a free side salad over more drinks. So… the scale should owe me a few pounds off… right?

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

“But you’re pretty too.” 🙄

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

Boyfriend talked mad shit about beating me at Mario Kart last night and I kicked his ass. This afternoon he walked in with an x-box because I previously said I’d never played it. Apparently he didn’t take losing very well and needs a game he knows he can win. 🤣

[The Try Guys / 2nd try @tryguys]

WE’VE GOT AN AIRDATE BABY! Wednesday, August 31st, No-Recipe Road Trip with the Try Guys premieres at 10/9c on Food Network & Discovery+
We’re coming for you Guy Fieri !!!

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

I’m 34 years old and I just ate ramen for the first time ever.

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

“I’m not making you fail, I’m just watching it.”

[Arianna Heitman @acheitman]

So did her hips lie? Or his?

[Entertainment Weekly @EW]

Colombian pop star Shakira and Spanish footballer Gerard Piqué have separated after 11 years together. https://t.co/kIprLCRo6Y