Sammy Cotton

Just a Brit in Texas. 🇬🇧🇺🇲.
I swim, drink, travel, eat, drive, dance & sleep, amongst other things. Like correct autocorrect. Amongst is a word.

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

Favourite quote of 2020...

Him: They look like big sprouts!

Me: Ermmm... Yeah, they're called cabbages...

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

@rm_rf_tom Holy GRANOLA 😂😂🤣

[Tom @rm_rf_tom]

People of #Irving. Will someone PLEASE rescue Concha! She's been in @PetSmart in Valley Ranch for over a month and she's making me very sad every time I visit. She's all alone now as well. She seems very sweet. We're at capacity with our rescues, otherwise she'd be mine! 🥺

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

@rm_rf_tom @Woodylaad @monteblan @WorldFamousHot1 EXCUSE ME! It was from John Lewis.

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

I went from 0 expectations to 100% expectations. #eurovision #uk

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

A #nocontextspoiler for @bobafett episode 3.

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

Me: These are pretty poor leeks.

Sister: Actually I think the preferred term is underfunded.

😂

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

R-E-S-
C-U-E

Rescue Aid Society.

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

Just a normal best friend interaction.

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

@tomjcollins85 Can't wait for you to update everyone on the reason this plate got denied 🤣

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

"Well whales are basically elephants aren't they?"

#nocontext @tomjcollins85

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

@tomjcollins85 @SkyNews They shouldn't have to apologize for doing it the correct way.

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

Just had a brain skip looking for the word "adaptation".
Me: "It's a book, book, book, BOOK thing."
Him: "Would you kindly locate your shit?!"

[Beau's Dad @Quan2994]

How I pictured my life in Texas going VS. how it's actually going

#Snowmageddon2021 #texaswinterstorm

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

Hey Texas, remember all the times y'all mocked the UK for not being able to handle a 30°C heat wave?

How the tables have turned...

#texaswinterstorm

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

Already made the soundtrack to the TV series they're going to make of my book.
Haven't written a word of the book yet, but I don't think that should hold me back.

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

Me: "Like the 'The Importance of Being Earnest'."

Him: *Looks slightly confused*

Me: "You get the reference right?"

Him: "Yeah, like, the Oasis song."

😂😂😂

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

The texture of quiche is unsettling... #ninenine

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

@tomjcollins85 @UberEats It's absolutely farcical that there's no in-person support. Blaming Covid for call centers like they've never heard of work from home culture! It's 2020, pull your socks up Uber.

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

When you order a burrito for a quick and easy lunch but actually just makes life harder because it's not wrapped like a burrito 😅 @ChipotleTweets

[Sammy Cotton @acottonbud]

"Right gang, we're gonna make a movie. But we're not gonna bother with a plot. We're just gonna take every romcom cliché we can think of and theme each of them to holidays through the year. Think No Strings Attached/Friends with Benefits with fancy dress costumes" #TheHolidate