Ministry of calm

My chopper goes beep beep beep

[Ministry of calm @actuallyimcalm]

(Me in Obsession) I wish for a decadent chocolate molten lava cake

[Ministry of calm @actuallyimcalm]

The funniest thing the american mind can conceive of is "imagine if ordering a coffee was kind of a weird experience"

[Ⓜ️ert @mertcentury]

The American social contract: you live in fear and danger constantly, but you get to have as much soda as you want.

[Ministry of calm @actuallyimcalm]

Sell Hartenstein into white slavery

[Ministry of calm @actuallyimcalm]

Looking at google earth until I calm down

[Ministry of calm @actuallyimcalm]

Broke: flying to the Sichuan province of mainland china
Woke: San Gabriel valley

[BON @Gresham2x]

I walked into my therapist office and told her I’ll die for my respect and didn’t say shit else for 55 minutes

[Ministry of calm @actuallyimcalm]

How it feels when there is a new world war and you realize your country is on the evil rape genocide child killer axis of evil side

[Ministry of calm @actuallyimcalm]

Chud barak

[John Hinckley @JohnHinckley20]

My original CAT painting just listed on EBay at SUPER REDUCED PRICE. Use link. Only ship to the U.S. https://t.co/jPCu9xA35D

[Ministry of calm @actuallyimcalm]

I've been getting really into the microwave recently

[Ministry of calm @actuallyimcalm]

I'm sorry babe I can't make love to you on the night of our anniversary I have to read something on a website about the demilitarized buffer zone that cuts across the island of Cyprus separating the Turkish Cypriot north and the Greek Cypriot south

[Ministry of calm @actuallyimcalm]

Life-hack for freelance employees: Save time by never sending your invoices in

[Ministry of calm @actuallyimcalm]

Worked with this guy On a tv show once he was cool I have no comment on the rest of the story however

[TMZ @TMZ]

'Home Alone' Star Daniel Stern Cited for Soliciting Prostitution https://t.co/ab6SNIQx6j

[Ministry of calm @actuallyimcalm]

This soul-tether loses its power however after spending 24 hours in a city with public transportation

[Ministry of calm @actuallyimcalm]

The truth is that it is very hard for the Angeleno mind to function properly when their car is in the shop/inaccessible because in Los Angeles the car is an extension of the self