Adam

dental hygiene and memes (he/him)

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

Me: “Hey, man, I like your pants.”
Friend: “Oh, do you want to borrow them?”
Me: ???

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

@vvelan Same thing recently happened to me at My Coffee Roastery in downtown Berkeley!

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

@hannahlhh Okay but how did you pronounce it?

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

@hannahlhh Damn how did I miss that one!!

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

If you’re still waiting to text your west end Caleb, STAY IN LINE

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

@RadishHarmers With my Cameron-Martin-Girsanov wormhole I can move freely between these universes all I want!

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

@notsleepingturk @JSEllenberg One martingale, coming right up!

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

And you definitely never hear people talk about machine EARRING, that is sexism

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

Everyone’s always talks about machine LEARNING but you never hear people talk about machine EARNING

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

@herowen_ This is taking me right back to middle school

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

brb gonna snut some nortmeg

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

Quick guess which book is mine and which is @ajaff’s

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

“I was radicalized by ‘Lean In’ in 2013” —@umzkrish

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

Hi, #AcademicTwitter! Next week, my department is running a workshop on inclusive teaching practices—Does anyone have suggestions for topics to mention? (Things like best practices for accommodating students with disabilities, intentional syllabus design, etc.) #AcademicChatter

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

wow I just realized how much @NPRKelly sounds like @melissavcomedy... I think there's a gem of a sketch in here somewhere

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

misread this as “sacred”, was thoroughly confused

[Bernie Sanders @BernieSanders]

The billionaire class is scared and they should be scared.

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

@vvelan Why aren’t you at union night???

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

I just took a DNA test turns out I’m 100% and now I have a doctors office appointment

[lexi ✨ @nowiseedaylight]

Type “I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m” and let predictive text finish the rest

Here’s mine: I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m so sorry

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

Good timing

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

Concept: a production of @WICKED_Musical with @johnlennon as Elphaba and @PaulMcCartney as Glinda. Also @ringostarrmusic is the wizard

[Adam @adam_jiraffe]

All I’m saying is that #instagramisdown never happened when @umazing_ was working there