Adam Lorence

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

Why haven't the feds from @HuntedCBS found these guys yet. The fact these guys are still missing in ATL makes me think the show's a fake.

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

@chrislawson__ it's target marketing. With that beard you can also expect to soon receive your copy of Conestoga Wagons Quarterly.

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

Notable absence from this summer's Olympics: Bob Costas' pink eye.

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

Caught my 2-year-old daughter trying to watch the Suicide Squad trailer on YouTube. Is that a parenting fail, or win?

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

@LightsofDay perfect! I only listen to GMO-free music.

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

@chrislawson__ congrats on the award nomination! What happened to the label? They've gone dark since June.

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

CPCU conferment ceremony. #CanIGetADrumRoll #GuessNot #cpcu14

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

Ugh. It smells like someone reheated a sweaty armpit in the microwave at work.

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

@LightsofDay reading this made my chest hair grow so fast I had to shave it...twice

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

@LightsofDay congrats bud! And Happy Easter!

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

@BrownsBridge "Roar" probably isn't the most sung song in most of our cars because Katy Perry is a self-professed Satanist.

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

Someone should invent a shoe horn to get infants' arms through a long sleeve shirt. #thisisimpossible

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

285 at 1:20am. Still at a standstill in both directions. This is insane.

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

While being stranded in the office, I'm pretending I'm on a Carnival cruise. The amenities are pretty spot on.

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

Good news: the office is closed tomorrow. Bad news: I'll be sleeping at the office tonight and will therefore be here tomorrow too.

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

Everyone's freaking out about these "snow rolls" in Ohio. I don't see the big deal. Typical work of sgnomes.

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

@LightsofDay Snow is the Devil's work.

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

@nlorence2485 as a dog owner I despise imaginary things outside as well as noises in general.

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

@LightsofDay the shark epidemic is one of the greatest battles facing the modern church.

[Adam Lorence @adam_lorence]

@nlorence2485 it wasn't the pork rinds making the car stink. #YOUrbreakFAstsmellsReallyTasty