Adam Roll

I share a birthday with Keanu.

[Elsa @elsathora]

I just had an out of body experience

[Adam Roll @Adam_Roll]

@okcthunder @Braums_IceCream Thunder ain’t losing with Braum’s on their side

[Tim Ridgolds @TimRidgolds]

He's getting gas. He swiped his card. Make him enter his zip code. Now his pin. Ask if he wants to apply for a credit card. Now ask if he wants a car wash. Now cancel the sale, hit him with "please see cashier"

[PeachProof @PeachProof23]

The Hibachi chef didn't just understand the assignment; he rewrote the syllabus.

​I came for the fried rice, but I stayed for the Shaggy cover. This is the level of enthusiasm I need in my life every single day. If your chef isn't dropping bars while flipping shrimp, are you even out to dinner?

​10/10 service. No notes.

[Adam Roll @Adam_Roll]

@zachlanebryan 💯- By the end of her first trip to Oklahoma, got the wife to sit through a storm on the porch and eat gluten

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

Every Gatorade commercial is an athlete. I just want 1 hungover person. That’s all I ask.

[Adam Roll @Adam_Roll]

Yo @elonmusk the Paul Walker stare and drive is actually doable with FSD 😂

[chance @chanceposts]

Dudes named Frank will be like “let me be frank” but they already are

[Jamarcus “Toe Jam” Lippey @mizzoulippey]

Misogynist? Is there a Mr. Ogynist I can talk to?

[Adam Roll @Adam_Roll]

@equine__dentist @TheoVon is this right??

[Nathalie Rothschild @n_rothschild]

So relieved my last name isn't Epstein. Dealing with all the conspiracy nuts on the internet must be tough.

[Jayroo @jayroo69]

Bill Gates after he laces his wife's food with STD medicine

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Just my luck, my 250 million year old salt has expired

[Adam Roll @Adam_Roll]

Giving my staff this same speech today over Zoom while wearing a bath robe

[Vala Afshar @ValaAfshar]

How not to be average is a must watch speech by Curt Cignetti, Indiana University

[Adam Roll @Adam_Roll]

@Jenner_Balagot @SwiftOnSecurity No, this is Pismo. A family friend owns this house, he got the deal of a lifetime on it back in 2012.

[Spencer Hakimian @SpencerHakimian]

Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, and Daniel Stern reunite in Los Angeles.

[Adam Roll @Adam_Roll]

Pro #dad tip- Take a photo of your Christmas setup and ask @grok to make a video showing the big guy dropping off gifts.

[Adam Roll @Adam_Roll]

@BianchiWeather Landed two hours ago. Couple of small bumps but that was it, felt pretty normal.

[DeeDee MegaDooDoo @g0bl1nvv1tch]

Absolutely breathtaking view of the northern lights in Oklahoma right now. Nature is amazing.

[B.W. Carlin @BaileyCarlin]

If only there was an incredibly ironic and timely song to play at a time like this