adamlamar

I do & make stuff

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

@gracehelbig is the answer to the question, "I wonder what my grandmother was like when she was my age?"

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

On one hand, I know pecan pie isn't a breakfast food, but on the other, it's already 12pm.

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

@sorola if you like little trucks you should check out Ayro in Round Rock. https://t.co/NJbKK0j2Tv

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

@_TrevorC lemme get a @RedWebPod episode about Clifford Hoyt or Olivia Mabel.

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

The adage used to be, "if she smokes, she pokes." Now it's, "If she sent you a friend request, she got an OnlyFans page."

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

"Swipe right if you're looking for someone who's completely unique," she typed, filling in the space underneath her Knockoff Kardashian profile picture.

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

Monster land on Hulu owes me 2 hours.

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

I'm finna trigger a whole generation's childhood trauma. @Teespring: https://t.co/QB1zxyrFXP

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

Me: I'll take Double Entendres for $500.
Alex Trebek: This Joy Division song is also the source of the faint seawater smell in your sock drawer.
Me: What is Dead Souls?

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

I can't think of a better way for @ChrisDemarais to commemorate his PastaPass.

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

I be on Tinder like: "Who's tryna get murdered?, ... I mean CUDDLED! Who's tryna get cuddled? Damn autocorrect."

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

Everyone, but me is working remotely today. Why yes, I will be dressed like the comic book store guy from The Simpsons. #mybodymychoice

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

Me: Maybe I should ration some of this food.
Also Me: **eats a whole apple pie**

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

I took an 8ball to the strip club and them hoes said, "come back with some toilet paper."

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

Just scored a killer deal on some used lollipops from China. #blessed

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

Suicidal Tendencies was just Limp Bizkit before there was a Limp Bizkit.

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

What the hell is an "alternative comic?" do yall just do Pearl Jam jokes?... What's everyone except Jeffrey Epstein's favorite song? "I... Whoa... I'm still alive..."

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

If you play @OrangeAmps you won't get the Corona Virus. 120 watts of Vitamin C a day keeps the doctor away.

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

Yall ever been so fat that you pinch the inside of your upper lip between your straw and your tooth? Nope, just me? OK then.

[adamlamar @adamlamar]

Today I Learned: Nebula from Gaurdians of the Galaxy was not Rachael Leigh Cook.