๐๐ HOW IโM RETIRING MY BLOODLINE WITH $275 DECEMBER 2028 MSTR LEAPS๐๐
I gave Bitcoin exactly one job: reach $300,000.
Then I took every MSTR-specific bullish assumption behind the woodshed with industrial equipment.
MSTR purchases ZERO additional Bitcoin
CEBE mNAV expands ZERO percent
Common shareholders absorb 3.6% dilution by paying pref dividends
This model has been beaten so savagely it should be communicating through blinking.
CEBEโs response?
MSTR goes from $100.05 to $610.43 anyway.
LMFAOOOOOOOO.
Fixed-dollar senior claims collapse from 284,436 BTC-equivalent to 62,569 BTC-equivalent as Bitcoin appreciates. Common-equity Bitcoin rises 39.7%. After absorbing every new share, CEBE sats per share still increase 34.8%.
The mathematical autopsy reads:
Bitcoin: 4.55ร
CEBE sats/share: 1.35ร
CEBE mNAV: 1.00ร
MSTR: 6.10ร
Now buy the $275 December 2028 call for $29.15.
At $610.43 MSTR, the call is worth $335.43.
One contract:
$2,915 invested
$33,543 ending value
$30,628 profit
+1,051% return
The same $2,915 becomes:
$13,251 in Bitcoin
$17,785 in MSTR
$33,543 in the LEAP
Every MSTR assumption arrived wearing a black hood and carrying a shovel.
They dug a grave for the bull case, threw it inside, poured concrete over the corpse and accidentally struck an 11.51ร oil reserve underneath the cemetery.
MSTR bought ZERO Bitcoin.
mNAV expanded ZERO percent.
The bears modeled a corpse and the corpse returned 1,051%.
Your great-grandchildren will believe โsubmitting a rรฉsumรฉโ was a medieval humiliation ritual performed by families who could not understand CEBE.
Strategy is now officially using the core CEBE equation on its own dashboard.
Amplification has been officially updated and we now see the Net Reserve... accounting for debt, prefs, and cash.
Amplification = BTC Reserve / Net BTC Reserve
Strategy defines Net BTC Reserve approximately as:
Net BTC Reserve = BTC Reserve โ Debt โ Preferred Claims + USD Reserve
PB = value of the Bitcoin reserve
L = net senior claims
Amplification = PB / (PB โ L)
That is functionally the same instantaneous balance-sheet elasticity equation underlying CEBE:
ฮฒ_CEBE = PB / (PB โ L)
At 1.53ร amplification, a 1% Bitcoin move mechanically produces approximately a 1.53% move in Strategyโs residual net Bitcoin reserve, holding senior claims, cash, share count, and everything else constant.
Amazing job, Strategy team! New website is AWESOME: