UNC Admin

It's true what they say - bureaucrats have more fun!

(parody)

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

Some students are upset that we have invited Hurricane Florence to #UNC campus. The Hurricane has every right to be here, and University officials are determined to protect it at all costs. Once the Hurricane has safely left our premises, all its detractors will be arrested.

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

For these glorious achievements, we paid our dear Chancellor Kevin Guskiewicz his annual salary of $620,000.

Meanwhile, we threatened to fire workers who make below living wage if they spoke out about unsafe conditions.

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

Year-In-Review: A judge blocked our $2.5 million payout to white supremacy, but we managed to give them $75K anyway. Our re-opening effort spawned so many covid clusters we had to shut down within a week. The DEA busted our frats for operating a large-scale drug ring.

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

@BasedLoathedOne Okay, Jeremy.

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

@BasedLoathedOne Jeremy, you should stop challenging people to fights while you still have a gaping wound in your stomach. You're going to rip your staples.

[UNC Anti-Racist Alerts @UNC_Alerts]

Self-described "racist, neo Nazi, incel" Samuel Wilkins was at UNC-Chapel Hill on Friday to preach hate in the Pit and LARP as fallen racist statue Silent Sam. 1/

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

#LifeGoals 😍

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

Remember when we exposed you to coronavirus to get housing 💰& then made you pay full meal price for a couple cans of soup while you were in quarantine?

On an unrelated note, check out this totally worthwhile project by a member of our Board of Governors. https://t.co/Q7QTECaHAD

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

Complain all you like but we are *killing it* at Bingo😎

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

Tarheels, how are you enjoying your 'college experience"?

We've had a bit of an pandemic kerfuffle, but our dear Chancellor Kevin Guskiewicz looked very handsome while fielding softball questions on zoom. Not bad for our first week back!! 😍🤗🥳

[The Daily Tar Heel @dailytarheel]

The Sigma Nu cluster is the latest cluster identified by the University, along with those at Granville Towers and Ehringhaus Residence Hall.
https://t.co/5kxYXqsyuZ

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

Just throwing up an ad for below-living-wage position where you will risk exposure to coronavirus. The job is temporary, so if you survive you will be promptly laid off when the pandemic is behind us.
https://t.co/18f7N8FFoQ

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

UNC has clearly & repeatedly stated that we do not give a shit whether our workers live or die. We will not change our course of action until you put our dear, beloved $$$ at risk.

If any unions have an issue with this, do feel free to go on strike 😎

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

@workersunionunc If you don't like it, maybe you should strike 🤷‍♀️

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

Beautiful work!! 😍😍😍

How can we commission a copy? Still got almost $2.5 million to burn after a judge said we couldn't give it to white supremacists.

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

Yes, I did steal this meme from an undergrad. No, I'm not going to give them credit. UNC has a very strict policy against academic integrity, thank you very much.

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

Check out this 60 Minutes interview with our beloved Chancellor, Kevin Guskiewicz! 😍😍😍

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

I *could* refund your dorm fees, give you paid leave, and use the returned $2.5 million racist trust fund to help you through a crisis.

But instead, I'll just leave it to students to pool their poverty wages into a mutual aid fund.
https://t.co/bcKaduGSwn

[Crisis Relief at UNC-CH @unccrisisrelief]

UPDATE. We have received a number of new requests, and we will zero out our balance by the end of the day. Unfortunately, we will have to reduce the maximum amount we're able to give to each requester. Please donate if you can! https://t.co/ECshfu8mAY

[UNC Admin @AdminUNC]

1st we tried to build a $5.3 million shrine to racism & you said no. Then we gave $2.5 million directly to racists and you STILL SAID NO. Damn y'all, just tell us what to do.

Bear in mind the only solutions UNC recognizes involve paying millions to advance white supremacy. Thx.