Goddard

ya gotta be smart to be a smart ass

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

The only two ways to know if your outfit is on point: either a gay man compliments you or a girl yells at her boyfriend for looking at you.

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

Don’t mean to steal the spotlight from John Wick but…I’m thinking I’m back.

[GL @gldivittorio]

Do👏🏼not👏🏼play👏🏼devil’s👏🏼advocate👏🏼unless👏🏼you👏🏼have👏🏼passed👏🏼the👏🏼bar👏🏼and👏🏼are👏🏼currently👏🏼representing👏🏼Satan👏🏼in👏🏼a👏🏼court👏🏼of👏🏼law.👏🏼

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

2017 fashion in a nutshell: "are those geriatric orthopedic sneakers or céline?"

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

@adriangrenier challenged me to #stopsucking now I challenge you @MaddieSegalas !
https://t.co/eRLYVcSr0J

[David DeWeil @daviddeweil]

Oh you love your mom? Name three of her albums

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

How DARE you drop this hot hot fire @justinbieber
At this point, I'm actively trying not to be a #belieber.
https://t.co/Crnsl3s6N5

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

can't tell if its #AshWednesday or if everyone is suddenly a hardcore @21savage fan

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

@MickJagger knocked up a 22 yr old ballerina & the more I listen to #BlueAndLonesome the more I wish I stuck with ballet. #THEROLLINGSTONES

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

I stay at my job b/c of my coworkers, the intellectually stimulating work and for the man at starbucks on 23rd that knows my order

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

#mondays

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

@Bandsintown i'm getting 100 emails from you per hour please tell me who to contact to fix the glitch

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

Strollers but for adults

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

I feel like I'm watching a middle school homeroom debate for 8th grade class president. #Debates2016

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

One part hard alcohol + 2 parts making sure my passport isn't expired. The perfect recipe for #Debates2016

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

Donald Trump has lips for eyes and eyes for lips #Debates #Debates2016

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

Sure, like anyone could pick just 10

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

~that feeling when you've gained enough weight to actually want a tapeworm~

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

hey @twitter i miss #us

[Goddard @adnamadraddog]

The weather right now is a direct result of some fuckboi not texting Mother Nature back.