Adrian Valer

[The Mel Jar and Notorious Lacanian @the_mel_jar]

See, this is exactly right, and this is why some people can’t get very far into psychoanalysis or any psychotherapy treatment of their choice.

This may include some of you.

You may want therapy to work by “fixing your feelings,” so you can go back to your existence in life that led you to feel the way that you do.

Or maybe therapy will work because another person will empathize with you, and feel for you and whatever led you to your unfortunate current existence.

But then what?

Suppressing all your “negative” feelings, just so you can go back to your comfortable repressed state that you have been living in since who knows when, is not the goal of psychoanalysis or psychoanalytic psychotherapy.

We also can’t make everyone else around us change — including changing, say, the basics of capitalism, or the present circumstances and conditions of the time and place you live in right now.

Or changing your particulars, either, including your current age, your current health status, or your current financial status.

Or changing things like, “but people will not understand me if I don’t do what they want me to do. They will judge me.”

Or changing things like, “but doing things differently in my life is very risky and frightening, and it might not work or make things better anyway, and also people won’t understand or support it.”

Yes, but it’s up to you to tolerate people not liking what you choose to do, or how you choose to live.

And also not understanding you, or otherwise reassuring you that you’re doing the right things.

Those feelings don’t go away, all those fears and worries, and all those feelings of guilt.

Or of resentment, and anger, and grief over what others got to have or do, and you did not.

Or of how much you could have done, if only.

You can’t take it all away, the pain. It’s just going to be there now.

And you have a choice: learn to live with your feelings, or don’t.

Everything else doesn’t much matter. You don’t win maturity prizes for being the most successful at putting your feelings aside.

I know that is precisely what you’re taught by all those around you, but do you know why? It’s because they don’t like to deal with you and your feelings.

They feel bored, or irritated, or upset by your feelings.

So, fine. Those people don’t have to witness you have feelings that are less entertaining and enjoyable for them.

They have the right to say, “go away,” to you and your feelings. That’s about THEIR feelings, after all.

And so you can take yourself, and your feelings, elsewhere.

But meanwhile, you can continue to feel however you feel, regardless of how inconvenient or unattractive your feelings are to anyone else.

Not allowing yourself this is the thing that keeps people trapped.

If you are waiting for permission to get a chance to express an uncomfortable feeling, you might be waiting a long time.

Or you might be given approximately one or two days, at maximum, until the general consensus of the Other is, “OK, that’s enough Feelings from you.”

Feeling your actual feelings will take as long as it needs to take.

Don’t temper these with nonsense equivocations to show your “good character.”

Whenever I hear that, all I think is, “oh, someone told this person too much about some psychological labels about ‘splitting’ or whatever, so they are compulsively holding back so no one thinks that they are a mega jerk.”

But the people who told you about those ideas? Many have never had any trouble thinking of YOU solely in very critical and pathological terms.

Don’t let ideas like those keep you entrapped in a psychic prison in which you can’t accept that the only one doing all this labor to express “measured opinions” and “nuance” is you.

Just let yourself feel your feelings. And then these will tell you what you want and need.

“But those things are impossible!” Are they? Or is the potential that you may feel difficult feelings the rest of your life the thing that feels impossible, and unbearable?

[Owen Jones @owenjonesjourno]

Here’s the thing about GB News.

Before it launched, anyone who said it’d be like this was accused of scaremongering.

“Our broadcasting rules won’t allow a Fox News in this country!”

Yet it’s become an open sewer of conspiratorial bile

[Signal @signalapp]

Our statement on the UK government’s demand that all content on all devices sold or used in the country be scanned, on the presumption of nudity, using a dystopian combination of age verification and content scanning. This proposal will not safeguard children. It endangers us all.

https://t.co/VdWe9uhi8p

[Josh Trebach, MD @jtrebach]

After taking tons of tests over the years, I have honed a study technique that works well for me.

And hopefully, it works for you too!

A thread on the study technique that got me through med school, residency, fellowship, and one of the hardest board exams I’ve ever taken:🧵📚

[Adrian Valer @adrianvalerc]

@georgesimion jeg de om

[Liv Boeree @Liv_Boeree]

what in the ever loving fuck

[Volodymyr Zelenskyy / Володимир Зеленський @ZelenskyyUa]

Today, my meeting with the President of Romania, @NicusorDanRO, focused primarily on strengthening the energy and economic capacities of both our nations so that together we can do more for the national security of our states.

We are working to expand cross-border energy cooperation – building two new power transmission lines with Romania. Equally important is our ability to pursue projects together in resource extraction on the Black Sea shelf. Today, we also discussed projects in the oil and gas sector that can support us now, including in light of the challenges related to the Middle East. We reviewed opportunities for transporting American LNG to Ukraine via Romania. We are also working to open new border crossing points – and this will be achieved already this summer.

I thank Romania for its principled position throughout all these years of Russia’s full-scale war. Ukraine and Romania are natural strategic partners. The geography of our region, the security challenges we face, and the economic needs of our peoples all point to one conclusion: cooperation between us must only grow stronger.

[Tom Marshall @TomPMarshall]

@ZoeJardiniere https://t.co/htYp0gp0YQ

[Rothmus 🏴 @Rothmus]

I have been trying to find this for over 30 years.

Kids today don’t know how good they got it.

[Steven Pinker @sapinker]

The autism epidemic is a myth: The increase is only in expansive overdiagnosis of kids "on the spectrum," e.g. "Would rather be alone than with others,” “Has difficulty making friends,” and “Is regarded by other children as odd or weird.” Severe cases (no language, socially unresponsive, etc.) have decreased. By my former grad student @AdamOmaryPhD https://t.co/mS6miGWM86

[Adrian Valer @adrianvalerc]

@PAHoyeck Seems it's avialble for free on YouTube as well https://t.co/VksE1rYJln

[Adrian Valer @adrianvalerc]

@PAHoyeck Some really good suggestions here. Can't see if Mindwalk (1990) has been suggested already but I found it stuck with me.

[BrightonPsych @BrightonPsych]

On narcissistic behaviour vs narcissistic structure 🧵
There is a difference between narcissistic behaviour and narcissistic structure. Confusing the two is why the word narcissist has become both an insult and a diagnosis, usually applied to an entire person.

[Donald Tusk @donaldtusk]

No-one will take seriously a weak and divided Europe: neither enemy nor ally. It is already clear now. We must finally believe in our own strength, we must continue to arm ourselves, we must stay united like never before. One for all, and all for one. Otherwise, we are finished.

[Saganism @Saganismm]

“All murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.”

— Voltaire

[Paul Graham @paulg]

The rational fear of those who dislike economic inequality is that the rich will convert their economic power into political power: that they'll tilt elections, or pay bribes for pardons, or buy up the news media to promote their views.

[Adrian Valer @adrianvalerc]

@grok @Devon_Eriksen_ @Bbmorg @grok are you able to give 10 more examples with some links to newsarticles?

[Adrian Valer @adrianvalerc]

@grok @Devon_Eriksen_ @Bbmorg @grok should there not be consequences for hate speech? Of the approx 1200 convictions are there any that stand out as unfair convictions?

[Adrian Valer @adrianvalerc]

@grok @Devon_Eriksen_ @Bbmorg @grok you pulled that out thin air. Do you have actual sources outside of dailymail? How many lead to convictions?

[Nyatsimba Mutotesi @timiretimzzy2]

I run every day for 30 minutes, if I miss a day I add 30 minutes to the next day.
This has truly been a game changer, tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.