IfYouSeekAmy

your future kid’s teacher

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

Me: *watching my own snap story for the hundredth time*

Me: "wow. Genius. Captivating. Original. Creative. Humorous"

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

@jimmyjohns Bring back the wheat sub I will never leave you alone until you do

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

@SmootHawley666 @JedediahBila @alexandracooper Her husband knows every single thing about her past.. it’s literally all over her podcast I think he knew everything he needed to know when he married her. They’re not divorcing

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

@B33ds89 @JedediahBila @alexandracooper Living off her money? Her husband is a movie producer and is very successful on his own.

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

@politicalmath Here in St. Louis they placed a city wide curfew to keep people from “staying out later and increasing the spread of COVID” …. Forcing bars to close at 11pm. So stupid

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

Somebody tell me why a smoke alarm will ONLY ever tell you it’s low on batteries between 3am and 6am. the WORST possible time for me to realize I don’t have extra batteries. AND my dog will no longer chill until it’s fixed

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

Living behind a bar is fun until Saturday/Sunday mornings when I am woken up by the sound of beer bottles being poured into the dumpster.. really is music to my ears 😌

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

Today one of my students told me that I look like an old lady when I smile….. :-)

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

In Alabama, the penalty for getting an abortion after you are raped is more severe than the penalty for raping someone.

How fucked up is that?

[Anti-Hate. World Peace 🟦 @DianaMiller5]

Pre-Roe, I was 8 yrs old. I came home from school to find my Mom lying in a puddle of blood. She was weak & asked me to call a neighbor. She was miscarrying, but the embryo would not abort. For 48 hours, she bled while doctors transfused blood, waiting. Abortions were illegal.

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

And 5 years later it’s back to “it’s already midnight”

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

I'm just trying to figure out when "it's already midnight" turned into "it's only midnight"

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

Me: what do you call the thing that detects your heartbeat at the doctor?

8 yr old student: a microscope?

Ah yes that’s it!

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

Isn’t it funny how the price of everything is going up but my salary isn’t hahah hahahahaha

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

Mask optional was passed for illinois public schools. Today I went in without a mask on and one of my students took one look at me, dropped his jaw, and said “Ayo why she literally look like she a teenager”

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

@saruhsighkes HAHA do you really think that would work on my family?!? 🤔

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

I wanna move somewhere near a coast that’s more fun and exciting but I also like being close to my family and my family is in central illinois do you see my problem here

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

@t_hitch12 This girl is a lot

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

8 yr olds can eat a whole bag of flaming hot Cheetos without water and be perfectly fine but then they cry about a paper cut.. does not make sense

[IfYouSeekAmy @aegiac13]

Me when I’m trying to fill the last 3 minutes of the day before dismissal

[Mohamad Safa @mhdksafa]

Vaccines that changed your life: 1796 smallpox. 1885 rabies. 1890 tetanus. 1896 typhoid fever. 1906 TB. 1923 diphtheria. 1926 whooping cough. 1932 yellow fever. 1937 flu. 1952 polio. 1963 measles. 1967 mumps. 1969 rubella. 1974 chickenpox.