Ariel Elmann

god first, father of two, newly single

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

where to put ur hands while getting head (a thread)

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

(highly caffeinated listening to Massive Attack on the subway)

I kidnapped the UK prime minister’s son for a ransom, the money is on the way, I’m a god, untouchable. The crown is mine!

(reality, I’m picking my nose)

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

my dear friend Chauncey is in trouble !!

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

I (28m) am looking for fine woman to blow my nose 🤧

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

REI is an incredible place for couples unloading previous trip resentments

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

my weight goal for 2025

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

it was here I learned old ladies of all nationalities either pray to god or suck at candy crush

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

I saw bashar al-assad strike out at clandestino

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

Wicked is nothing like Oz (HBO), huge disappointment :/

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

the worst man in brooklyn riseth soon

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

goran brody

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

i was left this threatening note by a girl in class is she flirting with me?

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

just got back from men only retreat and it changed my life #AllMenFeel

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

“obey” my ex-wife’s lawyers when they say alimony is due they keep calling!

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

WOKE UP SO SPRY IM WANTED 4 SPRYNESS AND HAVE TO GO INCOGNITO MODE

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

bro our communication is mad off but here’s a meme of a goat snorkeling

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

sex b4 marriage feels like a move…

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

of course the one time i treat myself to an edible on the couch this happens…

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

wake up america !!!

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

introducing hannibal hector: ur favorite rapper’s favorite rapper

[Ariel Elmann @aelmann]

lebron james gets to play with his son basketball, a dream that never came true for me !!