you need some trauma. the woman you love needs to fuck someone else, or your father needs to die, or your business needs to collapse. you need to get knocked the fuck asleep. you need to face betrayal. get your heart broken, shattered, and crushed. you need to be abandoned and wronged in so many ways that you become free from all the social ties and decencies that limit your potential. you need to walk around like a leper with deep cuts and no possible treatment. things need to get so bad that your soul plunges to the depths. because in those depths, you will find yourself. and it will be glorious.