Steve 'Steve' Wetherell

The Shingles movie is here! God help us all...

[Steve 'Steve' Wetherell @afistfulofsteve]

Interested in a hilarious #actualplay #podcast? Listen as fantasy authors take on #pathfinder! Badly! https://t.co/jn7R9f5EYT

[Martin Pilgrim @MartinPilgrim1]

As a proud Jew, I would only marry a woman if she was willing to convert. Our front room into a replica of the apartment from Seinfeld.

[Martin Pilgrim @MartinPilgrim1]

I'm sick of being kept awake by the heat. I can't wait to go back to being kept awake by stupid things I said in 2014.

[Steve 'Steve' Wetherell @afistfulofsteve]

I sometimes like to recount the events of From as though I’m the DJ from Welcome to Nightvale.

[Steve 'Steve' Wetherell @afistfulofsteve]

https://t.co/eiBLFXuGdm

[Steve 'Steve' Wetherell @afistfulofsteve]

The main difference between wolverine and daredevil is, while they can both smell the taint of every person they encounter, only one of them likes it.

[Steve Rudzinski @SteveRudzinski]

Second CarousHELL 4 review that'll be in the Ultraviolent magazine, but just Facebook right now lol

[Steve 'Steve' Wetherell @afistfulofsteve]

That awkward moment when Hinge recommends someone you’ve clearly already slept with.

[Martin Pilgrim @MartinPilgrim1]

I saw a Tinder profile that said "Three children, sorry if that's a dealbreaker". I hate to sound shallow but I just don't think I could date someone who is actually three children.

[Steve 'Steve' Wetherell @afistfulofsteve]

Acceptable Criminal: Hey Neo. I know you chose to take time out of your well paid city job for this lucrative side gig. Want to follow me and my sexy friends to a nightclub filled with goth super models?

Neo: Sigh. Will I ever break free of this damned system of control?

[Kyle 🚄 @KyleTrainEmoji]

PICARD: Data, shields up

DATA: Brilliant! Shields can reduce damage we sustain. Not immunity. Not hubris. Just prudence. It's not precaution—it's strategy.

[camera shakes]

WORF: HULL BREACHES ON NINE DECKS

DATA: Here's what happened: you told me to raise shields, and I didn't

[Steve 'Steve' Wetherell @afistfulofsteve]

Sometimes when it's very hot outside I like to run a hot bath and then just spend some time pretending I'm a deep sea chemosynthetic organism.

[Steve 'Steve' Wetherell @afistfulofsteve]

No sane person puts one cheese slice on anything. And yet the man insists on individually wrapping them. How much environmental waste could be saved if not for corporate largesse? I hate this world.

[Steve 'Steve' Wetherell @afistfulofsteve]

“Are you still watching?” Yes but I left the remote control in the fridge. Why are you like this?

[Steve 'Steve' Wetherell @afistfulofsteve]

“Oh yeah? Well this ain’t my LAST rodeo!”- Captain Fuck

[Steve 'Steve' Wetherell @afistfulofsteve]

More like European Dong Contest 😕

[Steve 'Steve' Wetherell @afistfulofsteve]

Once again “I should batch cook my delicious chicken noodle dish” has resulted in me eating 2.5 dinners.

[Steve 'Steve' Wetherell @afistfulofsteve]

If I know moms- and I think I do- they’ll love the opportunity to back this murderous pudgy wizard this Mother’s Day! Check us out on Kickstarter.

[Steve 'Steve' Wetherell @afistfulofsteve]

I complain a lot about a lot of things but here I am looking forward to the he-man movie. Unfortunately my children are adults now, so I’m going to have to adopt a child to go and see it with.

[Steve 'Steve' Wetherell @afistfulofsteve]

I’m a bit behind the curve. Are the joke tv shows on 30 Rock all real now?

[Steve Rudzinski @SteveRudzinski]

Ilsa is back for revenge in CarousHELL 4