After the Uniform

Army Veteran. Combat Engineer. 🇺🇸 I’ve worn the uniform and seen war differently ever since. Pro-America doesn’t mean pro-every-war.

[Johnny Midnight ⚡️ @its_The_Dr]

The fire at Norte in Orange California looks like hell!

[Johnny Midnight ⚡️ @its_The_Dr]

😂🤣😂

[After the Uniform @After_Uniform]

The Lousy Sheriff of Washington Gulch

A Wild West Tale of Four Fools

Once upon a time, in the dusty town of Washington Gulch, lived Sheriff Donald J. Trump.

He wore a ten-gallon hat, a gold-plated badge, and boots that had never seen an honest day's work.

He promised to drain the swamp, run off the crooks, and make the town rich again.

Six months later, the swamp had a liquor license, the crooks had government jobs, and the sheriff had renamed the saloon after himself.

Deputy J.D. Vance, the vice president, followed him everywhere, agreeing with everything.

"Beautiful day, Deputy!"

"Best damn day in history, Sheriff!"

It was raining sideways.

Marshal Marco Rubio, the secretary of state, handled foreign affairs. Every time he rode off to negotiate peace, he returned with another treaty and three new enemies.

"Sheriff! They're threatening war!"

"Tell 'em negotiations are going tremendously!"

Doc Kennedy, the health secretary, traveled around selling miracle cures made from whiskey, rattlesnake oil, and something he'd scraped off a fence post.

"Does it work, Doc?"

"Hell if I know. But it's natural!"

One afternoon, the townsfolk surrounded the sheriff's office.

"SHERIFF! THE BANK'S BROKE, GROCERIES COST A FORTUNE, AND THE WHOLE DAMN TOWN'S FALLING APART!"

Trump stumbled onto the porch, chewing a cheeseburger.

"Folks, nobody's ever seen a town run better. Absolutely tremendous!"

An old rancher spat into the dirt.

"THEN WHY CAN'T ANYBODY AFFORD A DAMN THING?"

"FAKE NEWS!" shouted Trump.

"DAMN RIGHT!" yelled Vance.

The sheriff climbed onto a barrel.

"EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THIS TOWN IS THE PREVIOUS SHERIFF'S FAULT!"

An old woman hollered:

"YOU'VE BEEN SHERIFF TWICE, YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH!"

Vance fainted.

Rubio turned his horse around.

Kennedy took a long drink from his medicine bottle.

Trump scratched his head.

"Well, the first time was rigged."

Across the street, the undertaker shook his head.

"Forty years I've been burying folks. Never thought I'd see four men fight over a brain and still have three leave empty-handed."

And so the sun set over Washington Gulch.

Trump took credit for the sunset.

Vance called it the greatest sunset in history.

Rubio negotiated with the moon.

And Kennedy announced sunlight was healthier after dark.

THE END.

Unfortunately, the sheriff had just announced he was running for another term.

The undertaker immediately doubled his prices.
#PoliticalSatire #Trump #JDVance #MarcoRubio #RFKJr #WashingtonDC #PoliticalComedy #AmericaFirst

[After the Uniform @After_Uniform]

@MarioNawfal Damn. They owe me a lot of backpay. 🤣

[After the Uniform @After_Uniform]

@its_The_Dr He didn't want to be here.

[After the Uniform @After_Uniform]

Hold on. Trump signs sanctions against Russia, turns around and makes a diesel deal with them, and now suspends the very sanctions he signed a month ago? All while Russia continues its war in Ukraine. And we're supposed to believe this is in America's national interest? Something isn't adding up in Washington.
#Trump #Russia #Putin #RussiaSanctions #UkraineWar #AmericaFirst #USForeignPolicy #WashingtonDC

[Steve Lookner @lookner]

AP: "President Donald Trump on Friday signed an executive order that puts on hold a sweeping new sanctions package targeting the Russian economy, telling Congress the pause was in the national interest. Trump personally signed the legislation just last month. Named after late South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham, it had sought to clamp down more quickly on the flow of financial resources fueling the war against Ukraine."
https://t.co/1n9DlgG53M

[After the Uniform @After_Uniform]

@ImBreckWorsham Israel will love that.

[After the Uniform @After_Uniform]

@benshapiro Ben, for a guy who never shuts up about facts and logic, you sure turn into a middle schooler when it's time to make an actual argument. Instead, you're making horse-ass jokes like a desperate teenager looking for attention. You're embarrassing yourself.

[After the Uniform @After_Uniform]

@oelma__ Jermaine “Soul Glo” Jenkins.

[After the Uniform @After_Uniform]

What a pathetic little poll. So now anyone who criticizes Israel is either an antisemite or an idiot? Give me a break. I have a problem with the Israeli government's actions, the killing of innocent civilians, and the blind support it gets from Washington. None of that has a damn thing to do with hating Jewish people. Criticizing a government isn't racism. Trying to silence that criticism by calling everyone an antisemite is intellectual cowardice.

[After the Uniform @After_Uniform]

@its_The_Dr Nobody is innocent in killing of the innocent.

[After the Uniform @After_Uniform]

@its_The_Dr Cheers

[After the Uniform @After_Uniform]

@its_The_Dr My dad had one.

[After the Uniform @After_Uniform]

@Travelodge_G All of the above

[After the Uniform @After_Uniform]

@its_The_Dr Jermaine “Soul Glo” Jenkins. He smokes Newports, drinks warm Natural Light, and owes three different baby mamas child support.

[After the Uniform @After_Uniform]

@KatieZacharia I think you'd be better of just not saying anything.

[War on the Rocks @WarOnTheRocks]

Eritrea once fought alongside Ethiopia against the Tigray People's Liberation Front. Now it appears to be supporting the group. What changed? (Members Only)

Listen here: https://t.co/s8B1XJv5eA

[R A W S A L E R T S @rawsalerts]

🚨 #BREAKING: Flying cars arrive before GTA VI.

[After the Uniform @After_Uniform]

@IrMil_X Thats just a septic tank.