i dont have the same fascination for him as i once did, and though sometimes i miss having something that gave me that intoxicating rush of obsession, im ultimately glad to no longer be tethered to that compulsion.
sometimes i watch my early edits for nostalgia and pine to have that same rabid fascination for brennan an edit making like i used to, but then i remember my mental health was crumbling and i would end up crying because my hyperfixation felt like it was physically hurting me.
felt like i was losing my mind often, be it from joy and exuberance, to the sense of not being in control of my body as it turned 2 am and i was still looking for more brennan anything, to constant paranoia that the entire ttrpg community, players and fans alike, despised me.
had some edits in the infant stages but after all this news with rooster teeth - a company i wanted to be a part of since i was in middle school, and even regretted not submitting an application for this summer - has come out, its killed what small motivation i had left.
@bigtiddybrennan im doing better than i have in a year; i have a partner im infatuated with and am limiting my social media use to help with my paranoid personality disorder. thank you :)
Weβre going back to Gowpenny, my Magical Misfits!
But for GenCon, weβre breaking bad - come meet your Aqrabus clique next week!
WANDS UP! #MisMag ππ€π¦
might reupload my mary on a cross edit since its flopping. i think it might have something to do with my account being flagged at the moment, so ill reupload it tomorrow, and maybe add a little somethin somethin to it.