mad_as_hell00

Procastinator

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

I'm going crazyyyyyyyyy. Why so difficult law school 😭😭😭😭 I just want to graduate and then get on to the next stage of my life.......

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

I always contemplate death and suicide. It really pops out of my mind every time. Even right now, before I write this, I was thinking of how good it could be if I was dead.

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

It's really sad when it is your own parents who open your shame to others. Imagine the other person not stating in your face that you are fat but your own mother told them, "Do you see her? She is so big right now?"

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

Will always hurt me and make me wish I was dead. It literally appears on my mind. I am like pavlov's dog once I hear the statements of " eat this, eat that, hey, your friend who is fat a while ago is thin, what happened to you?, dont eat that it will make you fat"

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

Will always resurface. Haunting and provoking you every time. The incessant statements and every variation of you should diet, eat only in small portions, do not eat this, eat only this, dont drink it, evade this, and that no matter how much well intentioned it is

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

If you are a child and your parent state that your relatives always disparage/ insult you on your back, the rose tinted glass way you look in the world will be broken early. And you will always question your value. And these thoughts, no matter how deep you bury it in your mind

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

And no matter what I do, I will not amount more than what others did in their life since I am inadequate. I will always question every compliment, validation, and goodness that other people give to me since my parent always have something bad to say about me.

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

It's no wonder that I dont have a good amount of self-esteem and confidence in myself. Its because I grow up feeling always ugly and lacking in everything due to their words no matter how much I accomplished. I am always being compared to others

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

I want to cuss in their faces, but hey, since I am their child, I have no right to do that. However, as your parents, they have the right to say anything to you no matter how hurtful it is. Can't they even phrase it in a nice way?

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

Ohhh, and by the way, they also enjoy chipping your confidence by saying that dress does not look good on you! Like, can't they say that the sleeves are not for you since you have big arms instead of saying that you look like a grandmother in that dress!

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

And nooooo. They did not even defend you, they also ganged up with your relatives by agreeing with their statement. Like what the hell is wrong with you!!!! Your daughter is disparaged by other people, and instead of defending her, you agree with them!!!!!

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

And thereafter in the car, they told you what your other relatives say to you and then laugh?! My god.... So pissed and sad. All I hear is "you are not good if you are fat, you should be thin." Like they are telling in my face that they are embarrassed with me.

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

Nakakainis tlga

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

Ang sakit sa loob. Naiinis ako sobra. Pwede bang maging outspoken without consequence?

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

Ang trabahong pinapagawa ay dapat pantay kung parehas lang ang position. Bawal may favorite. Nakakainis

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

Dapat akma lang sa sahod ang ginagawang trabaho. Isipin mo yun parehas kami ng position pero mas madami siyang idle time sayo? Hirap talaga ng walang backer....

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

Huhuhu nakakainis. Di ko naman trabaho yun pero bat ako gumagawa buti sana kung malaki din ung sahod ko kagaya nung dapat na gumagawa.

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

Kapagod haysss

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

If you are always in a bad mood and can't stand the actions of others despite their repeated behavior in the past, then I suggest you might as well stay at home.

[mad_as_hell00 @agatha_kei]

wtb lfs svt con!!!

seventeen follow tour in bulacan ph

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