Holly Schmolly

Standup Comedian.

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

"...For love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite." - Nelson Mandela

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

"People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love..."

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin or his background or his religion..."

[pete lee @peteleetweets]

Dear @realDonaldTrump,

The Earth isn't like a marriage. Once you destroy it, you can't just go out and get another one.

Heart,
Pete

[Holly Schmolly @age5exlocation]

If Tim Burton made a movie about Johnny Depp's most recent marriage, it could be his darkest film yet.
#JohnnyDepp #AmberHeard
#sad

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

Shout out to all the kettle-cooked shit. Try to feed me something that ain't from a kettle I will straight up fold your legs the wrong way.

[Brendan O'Hare @brendohare]

great fist bump in this dunkin donuts commercial

[Holly Schmolly @age5exlocation]

She'll be riding HOW MANY white horses when she comes? When she comes, around the mountain.

[Holly Schmolly @age5exlocation]

She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes? Yeah, I guess it seems like that sometimes, doesn't it?

[Holly Schmolly @age5exlocation]

Dogs are man's best friend, but if they could understand #politics and #religion, they'd probably disown us and forge a new world.

[Esther Nevarez @EstherToi]

@laughriotdolls at @LaughFest in Grand Rapids! @bestfriend_jen @NOsterhart @SGRager @age5exlocation @ohthatnicki https://t.co/2xWa6k2b2R

[TheBlain&DiegoShow @BADComedyShow]

March 4! @newwayferndale w/ @age5exlocation, @darnell_IRL, @ReeseLeonard, & @hack_stein. Cheap booze & great jokes!

[Tyler Morrison @tylermorrison1]

#SarahPalin acts like she should be wrestling alligators for crank

[L U I Z A @l5iza]

Roberts: Sorry, Sarah Palin. Obama didn't hit your son's girlfriend ##SarahPalin https://t.co/EvAWfp25oK

[Holly Schmolly @age5exlocation]

Pill Cosby is finally facing charges... I'll drink safely to that. Cheers!!!
#billcosby

[Holly Schmolly @age5exlocation]

I like how the most watched #Christmas movie in this country is about a little blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy and his lust for gun ownership.