Agent Jemimah Hijaz

Sleeve Talker @ 38° 53' 55.133 N, 77° 02' 15.691 W

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

It’s #myTwitterAnniversary Thru good times, (truly) bad times… you know ThirdDetail had its share…
@sleeveTalkers always pulled mop up duty after Mogul’s #royalFlushes in the Castle. #classifiedDoodyDuty

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

Despite being called a liar by Comey today, POTUS retaliated with a bit of retail therapy.
#saferThanTweeting
#neverLeavesMoneyOnTheTable.

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

After POTUS withdrew from the #parisClimateAccord, referring to him as a polarizing president works on several unfortunate levels.
#seaLevel

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

Comey's testimony will be twitter-catnip 4 POTUS tmw. Coincidentally, the last broadcast he live-tweeted was @Scandal.
#youCantTakeCommand

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

The world knows these are protesters in Brussels, but we also know when Mogul sees a big crowd…@agentTork will be doing another headcount.

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

Spicer dreamed of being POTUS's token Catholic on the Pope trip… but denied his last chance @ absolution for lies he tells @ briefings…
#sad https://t.co/Z1E1gzBgLq

[Dave Brown @dave_brown24]

Asked about Spicer not meeting the Pope, a source close to the White House said: "Wow. That's all he wanted." https://t.co/38uCp5E3Kt

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

Every world leader has to face their handshake challenge w/ POTUS. Looks like Pope Francis came to play…
#gripFromGod
#scrunchedHisTinyHand https://t.co/LfLKiZ4FvI

[Newser @Newser]

Here's what Trump and Pope Francis talked about during their meeting https://t.co/Nv448mJ5q2

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

Bet @agentMoore was surprised by such a stiff penalty.
Not one of our finest… always said he was all thumbs.
#learnedTheHardWay
#sexterExit https://t.co/kTdFl6oDmd

[Reuters @Reuters]

Ex-U.S. Secret Service officer gets 20 years for sexting while on duty https://t.co/EuAL6RsBK6

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

@AgentTork YOYO… holding down the fort while everyone's gone. Your sacrifice and service will be rewarded with a 6 month supply of hand sanitizer.

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

POTUS seems desperate for any hand-to-hand contact. If FLOTUS is unwilling… it's up to you @agentTork… let him think he has the upper hand. https://t.co/oxDVsjnD9y

[Azamat Imanaliev 🇰🇬 @a_imanaliev]

Найден человек, который переиграл Трампа в рукопожатии

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

Finally, the answer to 'How many VIPs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'
#orb
#egyptianPresident
#saudiKing
#POTUS https://t.co/tWHZbD2K8U

[Nanette B @Nanette8791]

#trump #orb

#FakePresident @realDonaldTrump

"..I've got them by the ball.."

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

Isn't Chaos, Circus and Laughingstock the law firm POTUS hired the day after Mueller became special counsel?
#lawyerUp
#skipTown
#flakeNews https://t.co/m8QY9xYsNI

[POLITICO @politico]

“Chaos.”
“Circus.”
“Laughingstock.”
European officials sound off on Trump's ill-timed first foreign trip
https://t.co/3GAJ5a33zK

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

POTUS is a sucker for sensitive despots who can tickle the ivories. Apparently Vladimir plays a banging' version of "Back in the USSR" too. https://t.co/fvEKhTTrGI

[Bradd Jaffy @BraddJaffy]

Putin took a break from riding a horse shirtless to show off his piano skills. Totally spontaneous moment, I'm sure.
https://t.co/VetqJjojWV

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

Castle bike racks are setting the bar too low for jumpers… like a dare for hurdlers. A bit of razor wire might be a decorative deterrent… https://t.co/ENlP8oJw87

[U.S. Secret Service @SecretService]

Secret Service responding to an individual who jumped the bike rack along the North Fence Line of Penn Ave. Suspect in custody.

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

Spicer explains POTUS's "busy & robust schedule" cuts into "opportunity to get his full thinking" before press briefings.
#hisLastGaspAlibi

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

Even tho WashPo corrected their report that Spicer was 'among' rather than 'hiding in the bushes'… the #sad truth is… he's in the weeds. https://t.co/4bBupkALfP

[POLITICO @politico]

“He knows the last three days have not been good for him”: Sean Spicer’s make-or-break briefing https://t.co/oGSwlFpKOO

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

The real reason POTUS thinks cancelling press briefings is a good idea… they're always scheduled during 'his stories'.
#asTheWorldChurns

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

While Comey was on the West coast, POTUS sent a personal bodyguard to FBI HQ to deliver the Dear James letter…
#transcontinentalTenFootPole

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

POTUS opened up a can of worms firing Comey… Bureau boys loved the FBI Director… & will feel justified opening their own can… of whoop ass. https://t.co/LULIAHJVGm

[POLITICO @politico]

FBI agents in tears as news of Comey's firing spread https://t.co/p8g0u4y1si

[Agent Jemimah Hijaz @AgentHijaz]

'It's over for Comey…' says a POTUS with a comb over.
#cheapShot