Anthony Green

[Rafa 🇪🇸 ✝️ @rafetavlc]

Queridos musulmanes de España:

Mi familia y yo hemos decidido mudarnos a un país musulmán. Todavía no hemos elegido cuál — seguimos comparando cuál ofrece el mejor paquete de beneficios.

Naturalmente, todos mis vecinos quieren venir también. Y los vecinos de mis vecinos. Y sus colegas. Y los colegas de sus colegas. En nada, medio país aparecerá con maletas y un vago sentido de derecho adquirido.

Como una gran comunidad cristiana, necesitaremos unos pequeños ajustes:

Por favor, empezad a construir iglesias inmediatamente. Iglesias de verdad, con campanas. Campanas bien fuertes, que se oigan desde la plaza del pueblo.

También necesitaremos cerrar ciertas calles una vez al año para nuestras procesiones. Tranquilos, no es cinco veces al día — no somos animales.

Cada supermercado debe tener cerdo de verdad, jamón serrano, chorizo, panceta y fabada en lata. Ahora somos minoría, así que tendréis que ser comprensivos y acomodaros a nuestro estilo de vida.

Traemos todos los perros. Esperad muchos Labradores felices dejando regalitos en vuestras aceras. Necesitaréis parques caninos, y tendréis que sonreír mientras los paseamos delante de vuestras mezquitas.

Ya que estamos, vuestras fiestas religiosas son un poco… demasiado. Podrían ofender a la comunidad cristiana, así que agradeceríamos que las eliminarais discretamente. Gracias.

En escuelas y lugares de trabajo, nuestros niños y empleados deben poder llevar crucifijos grandes, comer bocadillos de jamón en la cantina y, en general, irradiar vibra cristiana sin que nadie se escandalice.
También exigimos salas de oración en cada edificio, además de traductores porque no tenemos intención de aprender árabe.

Si algo de esto se rechaza, por favor enviad una lista de direcciones de comisarías para poder denunciaros por discriminación, cristianofobia y mala leche en general.

Una cosa más: si mis hijos queman vuestra bandera porque España acaba de ganar un partido de fútbol, por favor sed comprensivos. Les echaré una bronca muy seria. Incluso podría hacer que escriban “perdón” 50 veces.

Por último, queremos beneficios generosos, vivienda gratuita y dinero de bolsillo mientras “nos integramos” durante las próximas tres generaciones. Trabajar es opcional, obviamente. También queremos beber alcohol y apostar de vez en cuando en las carreras de caballos.

Y cuando hace buen tiempo nos gusta ir sin camiseta. Tened paciencia. Ya os acostumbraréis.

Agradecemos vuestra tolerancia por adelantado. Al fin y al cabo, ¡la diversidad es nuestra fuerza!

Atentamente,
Un Cristiano Muy Razonable

[Piers Morgan @piersmorgan]

Disgusting.

[BanksyCat @Banksycat]

If THIS is progress, I dread to see what FAILURE looks like. He stood on the cliffs on 2 August telling us this was PROGRESS.

22 DAYS in office. 3,003 CROSSINGS. Nearly a THIRD of that in the last four days alone. A RECORD 230 on one boat.

Then yesterday came the lecture that we all need to play our part.

Oh, we are.

The British ARE more than playing their part in this, you absolute T*SSER.

£14 MILLION a year, one boat. £186 MILLION since you took office. That’s OUR bit. We’ve been doing it for years.

What more exactly do you want from us?

230 people. ONE boat. £14 MILLION a year just from THEM.

We’ve done our bit.

Do YOUR bit and STOP THE BOATS.

Three roofs. Three prices. Hotel, £14 MILLION a year, for 230 people. HMO, £1.95 MILLION. Barracks, £13.4 MILLION. One of these isn’t like the others, and it’s not the one costing less.

They told you barracks would save money. That’s not a saving. That’s the same bill in a different building.

HOTEL

Per night: £39,100
Per month: £1.17 MILLION
Per year: £14 MILLION

MILITARY BARRACKS

Per night: £36,800
Per month: £1.1 MILLION
Per year: £13.4 MILLION

HMOS

Per night: £5,347.50
Per month: £160,425
Per year: £1.95 MILLION

A national rollout, still growing.

Wethersfield’s ceiling is 1,700. Crowborough’s being extended. RAF Scampton already cost £60 MILLION before being scrapped, never even opened.

Three more sites, Barnham, Bicester, Linton-on-Ouse, are planned for 3,750 more people.

Parliament’s own library has reported plans involving thousands of additional bedspaces, while the Home Office has been operating asylum accommodation across hundreds of sites nationwide.

Parliament’s own Public Accounts Committee has criticised the Home Office’s long-term planning and its reliance on hotels.

The Shadow Home Secretary’s own words, “built on an assumption that the hotels magically empty themselves, they still have no plan for where these people will go.”

THE WIDER SYSTEM

At the end of 2025, 107,003 people were receiving asylum support.

30,657 were still in hotels.

46,824 were members of family groups.

The Government says the asylum support system cost around £4 BILLION last year.

FOUR BILLION.

But apparently WE need to “do our bit”.

We are.

We’re doing it every time the bill lands.

BRITISH WORKER

Median salary, take home after tax is £2,391 a month. Rent, bills, food, all comes out of that.

ASYLUM SEEKER

Accommodation provided if eligible, with utilities included.

For people in self-catered accommodation, £49.18 a week PER PERSON for food, clothing and toiletries. That’s roughly £213 a month in cash support and that’s before the extra payments.

Pregnant mother: +£5.25 a week.
Baby under 1: +£9.50 a week.
Child aged 1 to 3: +£5.25 a week.

£300 ONE-OFF maternity payment for eligible mothers.

If meals are provided in the accommodation, the weekly cash allowance is lower. So yes, there are different rates depending on the accommodation.

HEALTH

Eligible asylum seekers can receive NHS healthcare.

HC2 support can also cover NHS prescriptions, dental treatment, sight tests and help towards glasses or contact lenses where the eligibility rules are met.

EDUCATION

Children can attend free state schools.

And there are specialist sanctuary scholarships too. One University of the Arts London postgraduate scholarship, for example, is worth up to £50,000 and covers tuition, course costs and living expenses.

LEISURE

Driving lessons, £20,143 in Kent, in one year alone. Dance classes, £14,125, running until 2028. Free gym access, five leisure centres in Richmond. 70% off everything in Edinburgh.

LEGAL

Legal aid is available for asylum and immigration matters where the eligibility rules are met. Interpreters can also be provided where required.

And people wonder why Britain is seen as a SOFT TOUCH.

France has been saying it for years.

Even the UK Government now openly talks about PULL FACTORS and making the asylum system less attractive.

Funny how the rest of Europe can see the problem while Westminster keeps explaining it to us as though WE are the problem.

More people. Less capacity. Higher bills. Fewer services left for the people who built this country and paid for it their whole lives. Our tax bills rise. Our services shrink. Our own vulnerable go without.

That system belongs to British people first. We built it. We funded it. We’ve done our part.

So no. Don’t stand there telling us to do more.

Stop telling us to do ours and start doing YOURS.

YOU and your machine, stop this.

STOP THE BOATS.

Different face but the same MACHINE behind him.

[GINGERSKOL💜💛 @GlowSurfing]

Spot on!! 🎯😎😆

I can’t wait for the comments!!

Nicklas Nilsson explains the difference between right-wing and left-wing people in spot-on text on Facebook:

"If a right-wing person is gay, then he is, and he doesn't care what others think.
If a left-winger is gay, then he demands legal changes, protests against everything and everyone, and turns it into a political struggle.

If a right-winger is vegan, then he simply doesn't eat meat.
If a left-winger is vegan, then he wants to ban meat, halt food production, and protest outside farms and chicken farms.

If a right-winger doesn't like guns, then he just doesn't buy any.
If a left-winger doesn't like guns, then he tries to ban them, prevent everyone else from owning one, and hates those who do.

If a right-winger is worried about the climate, then he flies less, drives an electric car if it suits him, and sorts his waste.

If a left-winger is worried about the climate, then he wants to ban fossil fuel cars, air travel, and meat for everyone else, protest outside factories, and demand that the state forces the change.

If a right-winger wants to give his children a good education, then he moves to an area with good schools, or chooses a private school, or gets involved himself.
If a left-winger wants to give his children a good education, then he demands more tax money from everyone, equal results for all, a ban on charter schools, and protests against every inequality.

If a right-winger complains about his job or workplace.. he doesn't. He changes jobs or starts his own business.
If a left-winger complains about his job – then it's the boss, the company, or the colleagues who are at fault. He demands collective agreements, strikes, changes for the whole community, and protests against the company so that it suits him.

If a right-winger is dissatisfied with his housing or rent, then he moves, renovates, or buys something else.
If a left-winger is dissatisfied with his housing or rent, then he demands rent freezes, more subsidies, regulations for everyone, and protests against landlords and politicians.

If a right-winger fails with a business or an investment that goes wrong, then he gets up, dusts himself off, and tries again tomorrow.
If a left-winger runs out of money on the 24th, then he blames the rich for having too much and needing to contribute more, blames the lottery win that didn't come home last week, and mutters that he has such damn bad luck.

If a right-winger sees this – then he sends it to a few friends for a good laugh.
If a left-winger sees this – then he tries to argue against it, get it removed, and delete me from Facebook."

[ControlUp @ControlUp]

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[Haemochromatosis UK @IronOverloadUK]

Haemochromatosis (hee-mo-crow-ma-toe-sis). Funny word, serious condition.

It’s the most common genetic condition in NI & 1 in 10 of us are at risk.

It means you’ve too much iron in your blood. So, if you’re always tired & sore, get your iron levels checked.

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[Anthony Green @AggreenGreen]

@james____rankin I had the E60 V10. Amazing car, it drank for fun, but gutted I got rid of it in the end, every car I get will always be compared to it... Enjoy!

[ControlUp @ControlUp]

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[Dr Rachel Clarke @doctor_oxford]

This is staggeringly irresponsible of @theresecoffey & will cause so much more harm than good.

Doctors do not - unlike Coffey - dish out spare antibiotics to our family & friends because we’re painfully aware of the harms of antibiotic resistance. Utter recklessness.

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[Anthony Green @AggreenGreen]

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[anna melissa 🏀✨ @annamelissa]

this is my favorite clip on the internet

[Ian Fraser @Ian_Fraser]

Italian cyclist Michael Guerra uses his knowledge of physics and aerodynamics to adopt a “plank” position and overtake his competitors.