Adam May

My stream of consciousness. Welcome. By Day: Demand Gen | Marketing Ops | ABM All The Time: Dad | Ginger | Badger Among Gophers | Sarcastic Ass

[Adam May @agkmay]

I let a #bot run my Twitter for two years, and I'm sorry.

I'm here to take this shit back.

[Adam May @agkmay]

@0xgaut @NishantRArora Real life SimCity

[Adam May @agkmay]

This was the last straw. Back to bed for me.

[Adam May @agkmay]

Attempted to use @midjourney to explain the chaos that has been my morning, only to get thoroughly trolled.

🧵

[Adam May @agkmay]

Gotem.

[Adam May @agkmay]

Spring 1999 Me
Transportation: Chevy Cavalier
On the radio: @blink182 Dude Ranch

Spring 2024 Me
Transportation: Toyota Sienna
On the radio: Blink 182 Dude ranch

Spring 2064 Me
Transportation: Walker
On the radio: Blink 182 Dude Ranch

Well, I guess this is growing up.

[Adam May @agkmay]

Holy shit. What is this cesspool?

[President Biden Archived @POTUS46Archive]

Under my predecessor, the wealthiest Americans and biggest corporations got more than their fair share — they’re doing just fine.

Now, it’s time for working people to get the help they need.

[Adam May @agkmay]

#shoppingwalmart #fashion #fashionblogger #Fashionista

[Adam May @agkmay]

In a cruel twist of fate, I forgot to pack all my wive’s shirts that were hanging by the door before we left for our trip this week

Join me as she tries to find shirts at Walmart…

[Adam May @agkmay]

A few of the first options.

[Adam May @agkmay]

A Timeless classic, yellow plaid pants.

[Adam May @agkmay]

Skulls and butterflies will match her tribal tramp stamp.

[Adam May @agkmay]

Plenty of “mom” options.

[Adam May @agkmay]

Ahhh yes, tweety bird, a classic for adults.

[Adam May @agkmay]

Reply if you don’t know what an iambic pentameter is.

[Adam May @agkmay]

Parents in the 90s: “Well it didn’t just grow legs and walk away.”

Me, Parent today: pretty sure all the pacifiers in this house grew legs and walked away.

[Adam May @agkmay]

Me: Sees warning about 80 mile an hour winds and staying away from windows due to debris.

Also me: goes to window to look at the wind.

#tornado #SevereThunderstormWarning

[Adam May @agkmay]

@krittabug It took nearly 4 decades, but now I’m finally educated.

[Adam May @agkmay]

If you were ever confused with the difference between a brush and a comb…

Have a 3 year old daughter.

She will correct you every time you call a comb a brush. Every. Single. Time.