“After hearing the gunshots, many people yelled ‘Get down!’ which caused Nicki Minaj to start twerking. Can you believe it? She’s the only one that really understood what that meant.”
— Trump on the shooting at the White House Correspondents Dinner.
I love how TSA rules are different at every airport and they look at you like you're a fucking idiot when you don't speak their regional dialect of security theater.
Do it. Marry that person who you don’t love as much as your ex. Have a bunch of kids. Move into the ghetto. Go into more credit card debt. Homeschool your kids even though you almost flunked high school and you’re in desperate need of a second income. Take that promotion at the Pizza Hut.