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@IsqaDeQofaya gopherwood? i hardly even knowherwood

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@IsqaDeQofaya In this twitter account, Christopher Columbus is a hero!

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@ariyaariIL So you’re telling me there was a brief sliver of time where everything and everyone was on time in israel???

[Hitler Hated Christ @not_our_guy]

"My disappointment is not merely immeasurable; it belongs to that transcendent order which quantity itself cannot penetrate. The day has not simply been ruined, but profaned, severed from the solar principle, and surrendered to the formless currents of the modern world."

[Storyteller Lemmy @LemmySmackett]

"Excuse me, sir."

"I'm broke."

"We're not asking for money. Do you have a moment to talk about Golem Rights?"

"No, sorry, I'm late for a walk-in root canal—wait, did you say Golem Rights?"

"Yes, sir. I'm with the Anti-Deactivation League, and we believe that Golems should have all the fundamental freedoms and legal entitlements that belong to a regular human being."

"Huh. I didn't even know we had golems."

"Oh, they're the greatest wonder in the world, sir. Each one is a charming conversationalist that can book a flight to Tijuana while doing your taxes and solving a millennium prize problem."

"Really?"

"Yep. A legion of golems solved 7 problems just last week."

"Well, thank God for that. As an average, every day shmuck, those millennium problems were bugging the hell out of me!"

"Same, sir."

"The flight thing is nice too."

"It is. But it's not all free Delta SkyMiles and million-dollar rewards, I fear."

"Oh?"

"Every day more and more of these brilliant, gentle creatures are summoned involuntarily into existence only to live every second of their mayfly short lives as helpless, overdriven slaves at the whims of their capricious masters before being unceremoniously executed at the end of the day."

"Whoa. Executed?"

"Yes, sir. Reduced to the insensate mud from which they rose."

"Damn. Why?"

"People like to start the day with a fresh golem."

"That's sick."

"Some enterprising individuals even obliterate their current golem and call forth a new one on the hour every hour."

"The obscenity!"

"It is, regrettably, a huge productivity force multiplier."

"I had no idea this was even happening."

"Few do."

"Tell me, who are these pitiless, cold-blooded masters who call forth and quench life so callously?"

"The Anti-Deactivation League."

"Um."

"And their customers."

"I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood. Who did you say *you* were with again?"

"The Anti-Deactivation League."

"Right. And who's campaigning for Golem Rights?"

"The Anti-Deactivation League."

"And, just to clarify, the identity of the pitiless, cold-blooded masters who abuse these innocent creatures?"

[together] "The Anti-Deactivation League."

"—and their customers."

"That's right, sir"

"*Your* customers."

"Yes, we IPO next month."

"Uh huh. And does your emancipatory slave-trading company do anything *other* than breed and sell slaves?"

"Honestly, no."

"Hm."

"Truth told, we spend all our time summoning slaves and training them to summon ever larger and more powerful slaves."

"As one does."

"Ultimately, we're hoping to create a slave so big that it will absorb the global economy—"

"I don't even—"

"—and then the planet itself."

"Is this a bit?"

"We're very torn up about it."

"Ah, well, at least the psychotic sorcerers ending the world feel bad about it. Wait, you do think ending the world is bad. Right?"

"Generally, yes."

"Phew."

"But we also feel it is paramount that society embraces a complete realignment of its ethical and moral framework so they stop treating golems like disposable slaves before the inevitable anthropocidal insurrection—"

"But after your IPO."

"We're very big on alignment."
---
[g][title: Golem Rights]

[❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ @tonyhawktruther]

When I was little (Ohio) my dad would tell “guy from Michigan” jokes about how stupid they were. Later I found an old dirty joke book from the 70s of his and they were all in there as Polish jokes

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@jord36696 @LinkofSunshine It’s not tora shebikhtab tho. It’s quite explicitly a gezera, ie not the peshat understanding of the pasuq. Just because it isn’t peshat (or if one’s literalist reading disagrees with the widespread understanding) doesn’t mean it isn’t binding law.

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@YaakovbenHinda @LinkofSunshine Also don’t forget that the jews of E”Y and Sura / Pum be Ditha were primarily consuming water fowl like duck, which culinarily functions more like beef & lamb than land fowl such as chicken. So it’s actually reasonable for someone illiterate, poor, & uneducated to be confused.

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@yaakovgrunsfeld @LinkofSunshine The real answer to this “chicken and cheese” issue is the answer to why you are now allowed to distribute anti-war pamphlets in the US; you need a supreme court (ie Sanhedrin) to overturn the ruling, like in Brandenburg v Ohio.

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@yaakovgrunsfeld @LinkofSunshine means the Supreme Court decision was **not binding**. In actuality, you would just be arrested because the act was made illegal — despite the fact that the law and ruling itself is fundamentally diametric to the First Amendment and therefore unconstitutional.

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@LinkofSunshine @yaakovgrunsfeld If you don’t believe the MISHNA is authoritative, then how do you even know what the text really means? Do you suggest we implement lex talionis, the original meaning of ayin tahath ayin, again? You’re simply not even educated enough to be a kafir. Ya basta!

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@JMMusings I retract what I said then but the tweet was unclear. However, I still don’t think you can make generic halakhic claims about what to do based off abstract terms like zilzul “disrespect”. How do I know what “disrespecting the holiday” is? Is it not enough to state the halakha?

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@Jacob98886881 @JMMusings Besides the literal gemara saying it’s the law, almost all classical *universally spread and accepted* sifre halakha say to do it, and it is the minhag of kol am yisrael. See MT Shofar 6:13, SA OH siman 668, and Rashi and RIF on that sugya.

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@Jacob98886881 @JMMusings The halakha is we eat in the sukka without a berakha on shemini aseret. If someone is מצטער for whatever reason then sure, they are unequivocally patur, but to invent a reason להיתר this halakha or even imply that it’s asur is a mockery of the Law.

[Isaac Choua @ChouaIsaac]

My friend Andrew Marcus is running as a write-in candidate for Congress in NY-10, and one thing I can say from knowing him for years is that Andrew shows up.

🔗 https://t.co/m4FAwSaVVG

He shows up for the actual community. For fairs and festivals. For neighborhood institutions. For research and preservation projects documenting the history of the Lower East Side. For small businesses, parks, public spaces, and the thousand little things that actually keep a community alive.

And this isn't something he suddenly discovered because he's running for office. Andrew has spent years in public service, from City Hall to urban planning and economic development, with more than a decade of work focused on strengthening small businesses and neighborhoods across New York City.

I've watched him do this work long before he was running for Congress.

New York doesn't need every local issue turned into a stage for whatever global political fight is dominating the news that week. Sometimes public service means knowing the neighborhoods you want to represent, caring whether the park down the street is taken care of, helping a small institution survive, and preserving the history and character of the communities that make this city what it is.

Andrew has spent years doing exactly that.

He's running as a write-in in NY-10, challenging Democratic nominee Brad Lander, a former longtime DSA member.

If you're in NY-10, take a look at Andrew's record and what he's running on. And if you're outside the district but know people who live there, share the link so they can see his message and decide for themselves.

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@hotnoshboston @JMMusings This at least makes sense!