alex

queen of lookin’ mean

[alex @ahhlexw]

I need banana pudding the same way Jimmy Carter needed the Polish in 1977

[alex @ahhlexw]

@WelshMatt625 @NoContextHumans Candy crush

[alex @ahhlexw]

Don’t forget to gaslight a Star Wars fan next week

[alex @ahhlexw]

The god complex I have is going ham right now wtf

[alex @ahhlexw]

@Nataliaizzy How are you narrating my life

[alex @ahhlexw]

Why do people even major in chemistry these days? You aren’t even allowed to taste the chemicals anymore.

[alex @ahhlexw]

TikTok is getting me sucked back into the hunger games and I’m so close to running around my neighborhood with a bow shooting cardboard boxes like I did in middle school

[alex @ahhlexw]

How can we call ourselves a first world country when we have bathroom stall doors that swing in 😤

[alex @ahhlexw]

My dad is watching 2003 reruns of Saturday night live and idk what triggered it

[alex @ahhlexw]

I have a roommate that makes me sympathize with the villain from Meet the Robinsons

[AWSTEN KNIGHT @awsten]

I’M GONNA CONFESS SOMETHING NOW SINCE THE BRITS ARE ASLEEP I BROUGHT SEASONINGS TO THE UK WITH ME IN MY CHECKED BAG TO TRY AND SALVAGE THE TRAINWRECK THEY CALL FOOD AND I FEEL LIKE A GENIUS IT’S ACTUALLY HELPING ME COPE SO MUCH

[alex @ahhlexw]

I love my mom but I don’t blame any food service worker if they spit in her food

[alex @ahhlexw]

@claumnzzz Ecnarf

[alex @ahhlexw]

Growth is learning which side of the sink the hot water lives

[a @aallleeexxxxxx1]

why is every girl’s middle name Marie? aren’t you guys sick of it? i’m drunk

[alex @ahhlexw]

@PARXAFTERDARK2 How did you hear the w and not a u?

[alex @ahhlexw]

I see a baby and a toddler waiting at the gate for my flight so hopefully they’re on the other side of the plane 😭

[alex @ahhlexw]

Like I would trust British people to make Asian food 😭

[alex @ahhlexw]

My craving for Camembert cheese with fancy jams and bread is fighting my desire to not be a shitty roommate

[alex @ahhlexw]

@DaphneWarren1 Felony > succumbing to milk