chris pine disassociating at a press conference, florence pugh showing up 15 mins late with an aperol spritz, tom cruise clinging to a plane and saying "see you at the movies!", brendan fraser getting a six minute ovation...maybe cinema really is back
as 2021 comes to an end, here are my favorite days of twitter this year:
1. the cargo ship stuck in the suez canal. simpler times
2. the capitol insurrection. mostly loved seeing how many people misspelled it
3. the guy finding shrimp in cinammon toast crunch
4. world war 3
i’m definitely not jealous that i wasn’t at the met gala tonight. i downed 4 $5 margaritas at chili’s while seated near two men in matching american flag t-shirts and cargo pants. timothee chalamet wishes he had copped an invite
we gotta do something about this global warming situation. if i’ve learned anything from apocalypse movies, you have to be rich, famous, or incredibly in shape to survive. this may come as a shock to some, but i am none of those things
today’s father’s day activities include: receiving a “👍🏻” text reply from the man himself, him being incapable of remembering a name of any friend i’ve had in the past 23 years, and approximately 4 passive aggressive comments about me not going to law school
it brings me great comfort knowing that somewhere, right now, a frat boy is frantically typing up a tornado party invite to send out to the girlies. god speed king