aiden

comedian nyc

[aiden @aidencwall]

Send this to someone who sucks

[aiden @aidencwall]

my mom never remembers anything bad she did to me.

the only way I could get her to admit she used to hit me as a kid was by waterboarding her

[aiden @aidencwall]

im so sick of being the last one in the friend group invited to the polycule

[aiden @aidencwall]

@Sheldon056 yeah guess that’s why it looks like shit

[aiden @aidencwall]

this was terrible why did i even tweet this

[aiden @aidencwall]

how many doctor frankensteins does it take to screw in a head bolt

[aiden @aidencwall]

ken doll I’ve been hurting finally started inflicting real pain on Ryan Gosling

[aiden @aidencwall]

car door that won’t open because the driver keeps unlocking as I pull the door handle a fitting metaphor for my failing relationship

[aiden @aidencwall]

“Why does this keep happening to me?” -dylexic pedophile who’s 51 year old blind date just arrived.

[aiden @aidencwall]

I’m so insecure that after I watch a movie I check the reddit discussion threads just to make sure everyone has the same opinion as me.

[aiden @aidencwall]

i always do karaoke as a first date to see if she knows all the words to my favorite Weezer songs. If she does I don’t do a date 2. Weezer is my thing.

[aiden @aidencwall]

Rookie Cop Promoted To Sitting In Cruiser On Edge of Town With Radar Gun Waiting For Giant Fast Blur To Run By

[aiden @aidencwall]

accidentally brought a date to galentines day like an idiot

[aiden @aidencwall]

just passed a place that lets u rent a smoke machine for 40 bucks an hour.

yeah, let me pay $40 for some AI to do the thing i do everyday for free.

cuz that makes sense …?

[aiden @aidencwall]

@itsjustvalentin @anthpo im 24 ;(

[SkadoodlyDave @SkadoodlyD]

IS THAT AIDEN 1 MINUTE TALK SHOW

[aiden @aidencwall]

everyone trying to be friends with their ex thinks they’re Jerry and Elaine, but they’re always Ted and Robin.

always.

[aiden @aidencwall]

Marvel saved so much money on CGI for this shot. Instead of using VFX to make Red Hulk, they just asked Harrison Ford Star Wars questions and he did that.

[aiden @aidencwall]

who is this @ ?

[aiden @aidencwall]

almost forgot about all those times i was taught this in kindergarten

[iamyesyouareno @iamyesyouareno]

Correct.

White guilt is a mind virus that needs to be eradicated.

[aiden @aidencwall]

Why does he dress like my 18 year old brother ?

[NFR Podcast @nfr_podcast]

Drake wearing a 2Pac t-shirt via IG 👀