I had a dream where my body slowly became paralyzed. The idea of that is horrifying and I prefer it over waking up with the thought of "what if I wasn't a complete fuck up?"
Don't like "good" dreams as I just wake up feeling unbearably lonely. I don't like dreaming about my relations with others either. I like to imagine I'm content with majority keeping to myself, but I obviously still long for a real connection with someone.
trhe mechanical arm is based off the industrial lifter arm from kenshi. Big fan of how the robotics in that game look. She doesn't have a name yet and I've only a very vague idea of her setting. I must listen to more music until something clicks
Apparently, before he died of lung cancer, my grandma's brother told her, "I'm not addicted it's just habit." This has been reverberating in my head for a while as I am obviously no stranger to addiction.