ailem

:D

[ailem @ailemspo]

⋆｡⋆ ༶ ⋆. open me .⋆｡⋆ ༶ ⋆

[ailem @ailemspo]

I'm seeing chest and hip bones, but the rest of my body still looks the same it always has

I feel like I'm gaslighting myself into believing I'm seeing bones, and nothing has actually changed

[ailem @ailemspo]

The day has finally come that I can do up my jpn size 11 skirt. Soon, the day will come that I can actually breathe in it 🥳

[ailem @ailemspo]

I always wondered how people could fast and omad so easily, but I've finally just realised that I might just have blood sugar drops

[ailem @ailemspo]

I have no expectation that if I looked like shit they'd tell me, but at least in that moment, I can let myself believe they see something I don't

[ailem @ailemspo]

Having someone tell you that you look amazing in gym clothes is honestly doing wonders on my mental health

Like being able to drown out your own thoughts for those couple of seconds is amazing

[ailem @ailemspo]

Just realised my hair might be adding around .1 kg to my weight

Absolutely horrid

[ailem @ailemspo]

Why is it the fuckass kids number

[ailem @ailemspo]

Why am I plateauing at 67kgs, I finally get past the 70s, and I'm stuck again

This is happening way too often, and I'm too unwell to do any more exercise :((

[ailem @ailemspo]

Trying to exercise more so my heart rate is lower on meds but the high heart rate caused by my meds is limiting my ability to exercise

I cant fucking win

[ailem @ailemspo]

Desperately need to eat a bucket full of sorbet and cry

[ailem @ailemspo]

Just forced to convince myself that logically the bullshit my mind makes up can't happen before I end up distressing myself

[ailem @ailemspo]

Genuinely hate when medication goes down easily because I can't do anything to convince myself I've already taken it BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE IT

Like I have to convince myself that I didn't just gain magical powers and didn't poof the tablet into the void, but how do I argue that???

[ailem @ailemspo]

I've spent the day trying to be so nonchalant, acting like i dont care if they ignore me, but my dad called and it made me so happy :((

Im losing my own damn game

[ailem @ailemspo]

The one day I feel at my absolute worst is the one day everyone and their mothers remember I exist

[ailem @ailemspo]

Ive started waking up in the middle of the night hungry aaaaa

My insomnia is already bad enough but now my body is working against my meds, I'm so exhausted and on my birthday tooooo

[ailem @ailemspo]

I've gotten to a point where I'm finally at a state I can lose weight effectively but now I've got a doctor monitoring my ass indefinitely 🫠

[ailem @ailemspo]

Everyone saying to use ai to guesstimate cals is so weird

Like use your eyeballs and overestimate like a normal person

[ailem @ailemspo]

I wish someone told me that having a massive plate in my mouth made it difficult to even swallow. like I knew I wouldn't eat but I didn't know that included my own spit

[ailem @ailemspo]

uni applications are absolutely killing me like how do you want me to submit documents I do not own???

like if I had them, I would have given them to you already

[ailem @ailemspo]

yt literally disabling the video player when you watch with adblock like they are going bankrupt from it or something