Aiya || trying my best

you’re suffering, I’m suffering let’s suffer together💚 || I’m short ||20 years old || dni shtwt pls! || may still post triggering Ed content

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

💚 making a new pinned 💚

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• 19 years old
• pro recovery/not fatphobic
• I’m just here to rot and post my thoughts
• I don’t follow back under 17
• I love Pokémon if you like Pokémon we are besties
• diagnosed ana r

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↻ & ♡︎ to be moots!

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

I’ve not been tracking calories or even taking body checking pictures so this isn’t even a blip, I’m literally just vegan now so I eat less

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

This eating disorder is so pointless because when does. “I’m finally going fully vegan after avoiding the dairy industry for a while” translate to. “Let’s fucking starve myself as much as possible” like HELLO?

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

It’s so over for me yall

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

I hope I’ve lost weight for my appointment on Monday… it’s been a month since my last oneseeedde I’ll be so happpyyyy

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

I have no idea what my weight is rn but I started to visibly see weight loss which was unintentional and happened just cus of the diet change but now it’s fucking with my head

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

Guys I fucked up. I’ve gone vegan because that was always the plan for when I could afford it/healthy enough…. And now it’s turning into a kinda relapse. THIS IS WHY MY THERAPIST REFUSES TO DISCHARGE ME FOR ANOTHER YEAR BAHAHA

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

(Tell me to relapse it’ll do the trick)

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

Im so hopelessly disgusting madly in love with this girl someone tell me how to not feel because I don’t feel ever and now I am and I don’t like it

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

One addiction to the next, let go of my ed, now over 1000 days self harm free is down the drain

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

I need to get off here and just make up the calories I lost today, I’m trynna write a book, I’m in an amazing place at work… but I don’t see my therapist for two weeks so imagine if I lose weight again 😉

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

Am I omading today or should I make up for it???? CAN MY BRAIN STOP FIGHTING ITSWLF ITS SO EXHAUSTING

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

I just keep thinking about work, about my life but then my Ed never took work away from me, even at bmi 13’s I was working every single day so will it really be much different?

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

I don’t know what to do, I haven’t eaten anything yet because my brain is screaming, eat, don’t, eat, don’t. I WANT TO CONTINUE WITJ RECOVERY FUCK THID SHI

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

Fuck I should weigh myself fuck itttt

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

I’m actually just letting myself restrict again???? My client brought me in loads of chocolates as a present for Xmas and I just left them at the salon, I don’t want them and I feel awful :(

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

Oh my fucking god I miss it

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

It’s fine, I’m not going to force myself to lose too much, just a bit, I’m not going to go to my lw, probably just 10lbs

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

Work has been so stressful I need this, I need a way to cope.

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

I’m so disappointed in myself, I’m restricting my intake again and idk what to do with myself. Fuckkkk I’m gonna go weigh myself I need to…

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

@silverredeats Thankyou :)

[Aiya || trying my best @aiyaiscrying]

I mean if I just… eat my lunch at work and only have something small for dinner and see what happens…